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Immobile Jokes

What do you call a friendly immobile sea creature that offers you food and lodging?

An amenable anemone with amenities.

what did the plank of wood say as it lay abandoned and immobile in a field for 50 years?

I'm board.

Walking through the forest, an atheist hears a rustling in the bushes. Turning, he sees a massive grizzly charging towards him!

He runs as fast as he can but trips over a stump and falls. As the bear raises a huge paw to strike, the atheist screams: "God! Help me!"

Time freezes. The bear becomes immobile, the forest is silent, and the river stops running. Then the atheist hears a powerful voice: "You have denied my ex...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is that a frog in your pocket …?

A man surveys the women in a nightclub, picks out the most attractive, and takes a seat next to her at the bar. He uses all his best lines, but gets nowhere. Finally, he reaches into his pocket, takes out a small box, and pulls a frog out of it.

‘Cute,’ says the woman. ‘Is that a pet?’
...

Diablo Immortal?

More like Diablo Immobile

Under protest, a man visits the doctor's office. The doctor tells him "I have good news and bad news."

"What's the bad news?"

"It seems you have a unique condition, which to the best of our understanding is turning your brain into spaghetti and your blood into a delicious marinara. Unfortunately, it looks like you will only have a few months left before the disease leaves you immobile and sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a legless nun?

Virgin immobile.


Loosely based off the nun in a wheelchair joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bar Challenge

A man walks into a bar....

Upon sitting down, he notices a sizeable jar behind the bar, full to the brim with $50 notes.

He says to the barmaid: “What’s with all the cash in the jar?”

The barmaid replies: “It’s for our bar challenge, which consists of three different tasks”. Y...

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