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German Sex

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.
'I vish to buy sex wit you.'
'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'
'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'
'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the Ger...

My dentist told me I'm right on the brink of having tooth decay

He said the situation was precarious.

I precariously stack my chips on top of each other.

Because I like to eat a balanced diet.

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So I was screwing this chick in the ass the other day when she turns around and says, "How did I get myself into such a precarious situation?"

I said, "Where did a 9 year old learn the word 'precarious?'"

A daughter accidentally sees her mother getting out of the shower...

The girl points at the mom’s pubic hair and says “Mommy, what’s that?” The mom, not knowing how to respond, replies “Uh, it’s my washcloth”. The daughter accepts this answer and runs off to play.

About two weeks later, the mother finds herself in the same precarious situation. “Mommy! Where d...

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I had 12 bottles of whisky in my basement.

However, my wife did not approve of this ownership of liquor, so she asked me to dispose of it in the sink. And since I didn't dare oppose her, I commenced my precarious mission thus:

I pulled the cork out of the first bottle, and poured the contents down the drain, except for one glass which...

A man went to an art museum

And, as fate would have it, he happened to be in the Impressionist gallery when an earthquake struck. The walls began to shake, and, instinctively, he stuck out his limbs to try to secure himself. When the dust had settled, he found himself stepping on a painting of several dancers, which was precar...

In a suburb of Boston, there was a Catholic church across the street from a Jewish synagogue.

Over the years, a friendly rivalry had grown between the two congregations. One weekend, the members of the synagogue gave their long-time rabbi a brand new Cadillac. By sheer coincidence, the parishioners gave their pastor a new Cadillac on the same day.

Everyone laughed at the coincidence...

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Once upon a time, there was a sand dune with legs.

Duney they called him, truly one of a kind - a war hero of great accomplishment and honour, until that one fateful night.

It was 7PM, and the sun's glow was falling. Duney was exhausted, stumbling with his gun's barrel scraping along the desert's sand.
That was when Duney's world entered ...

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A Mechanical Engineer, a Special Projects Solution Consultant, and a Software Engineering were riding in a car over a mountain pass....

....Suddenly, the brakes fail just as they crest the rise.

As they begin to plummet unchecked down the mountain, the driver begins a miraculous set of actions, feathering the body of the car against the side of the mountain as well as other vehicles, while simultaneously downshifting the eng...

A severely depressed man decides to end it all...

so he finds the tallest building in the area and climbs to the roof. While he was standing precariously on the ledge and thinking about all the reasons why he was ready to die, he happens to look down at the street below. There are few people on the street but one man on the corner stands out, even ...

A compass, a cough drop, and a match.

As a Boy Scout, we would camp a lot and go on hikes.


One night, we had to do a night hike, alone, for a merit badge. I had left the campsite about an hour earlier and a terrible storm rolled in. The sky opened up and the ground was quickly saturated. I tried to continue my hike for anothe...

4 monks

Years ago, there were 4 monks going through the trials to reach their inner peace. They all excelled to the point of the last test; the test of purity. Each monk had a brass ring precariously hung off their dong. Then, the head monk chose the most beautiful woman from the village to walk naked in fr...

[Long] A hunter is trying to put all his deer on his plane.

The pilot asks him, "How many have you got?"

"Nine", says the hunter.

The pilot shakes his head and replies, "I'm sorry, but this isn't a very powerful aircraft. At most, you'll only be able to bring five or six. Nine is too dangerous."

"Actually", the hunter points out, "I loa...

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A man comes home early and believes his wife is having an affair

A man named James comes home a bit early one day from work to surprise his wife. As he enters their 11th floor apartment he smells cigarette smoke in the air and notices a pair of men's shoes that he does not own next to the door.

He enters the bedroom and finds his wife is laying naked unde...

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