One step.. two step.. three step.. four step.. five step.. six step.. do you know what this is?
Stairway to Seven.
That was a dumb joke, but it was the first thing that popped in my head this morning.
What are the two steps to marrying a country girl?
First; a tractor.
Next; fertilizer.
Here are two steps to take if you are ever stuck on a desserted island.
Step 1: Check spelling.
Step 2: If correct, enjoy.
There are two steps to success
1. Never reveal everything.
'How to break up with your girlfriend: a two step process'
Step 1: take off your glasses
Step 2: say: 'I'm afraid I can't see you anymore!'
The priest angrily asks the altar boy standing two meters away,
"Are you secretly drinking the holy wine?"
The altar boy remains silent. The priest's anger grows.
"I'm asking you! Can't you hear me?"
"No, I can't hear anything from here, Father."
"What do you mean? You're just two steps away and you can't hear me?"
The altar...
They key to being successful and happy is in two steps.
1) Don't tell everyone everything you know.
2)
Throwing Watches
Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch an...
The father of Private Smith has deceased, and the drill instructor is tasked to break the tragic news to the young man...
The father of Private Smith has deceased, and the drill instructor is tasked to break the tragic news to the young man. He has the platoon to line up in front of the barracks and addresses them: "Platoon, atten-shun! Each soldier that's got a dad take two step forwar- SMITH, where the hell d'yo...
I played Two Steps From Hell to my cat, and she became a lion. I played it to my son,
he’s still a disappointment.
Private Jones’ mother has died.
A Captain calls in the Sergeant. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother has died. Better go tell him and send him to see me.”
The Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.
“Listen up, men!” he says. “Johnson, step out and report to the mess...
“It was terrible,” moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late.
“I left with plenty of time to arrive at school on time, but it was so slippery that every step I took, I slipped two steps back.”
“Well,” said the teacher, with a suspicious look on his face, “how in the world did you get here at all?”
“Well,” replied the student, “finally after twent...
On a bitter cold day, Hank visited Lou
"I had a rough time getting here", said Hank, "for every step forward forward I slid back two!"
"But if you slid back two steps for every step you took forward, how'd you get here?", asked Lou.
"I almost didn't, but then I said to myself 'forget it', and turned around and started back ...
What did a dog’s hind legs say to the front legs?
Why must you always be two steps ahead.
Learning to waltz is hard.
It feels like I'm taking two steps forward, then one step back.
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