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True Love Jokes

(NSFW) What is the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling

True love

A few days ago I called my girlfriend using my friend's phone. She picked the call and said "HI BABY".
She knows it's me even when I didn't speak. True love exists…

True love is finishing each other’s sentences

Ghislaine Maxwell must’ve really loved Jeffrey Epstein

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

True love

A young man has just gotten married to his beautiful wife. Since he cannot wipe off his shit-eating grin, his friends ask him what’s going on?
“I just got the best blowjob of my damned life” he replies.

Meanwhile, the new bride cannot seem to wipe her shit-eating grin from off her face, ...

True love

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do people find true love…

How in the god’s name do people find true love…
I can’t even find the end of a crappy scotch tape.

True love lasts forever!!!!

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ...

The secret to true love for a man.

Ok guys so I thought I would lay out my Grandfather's secret for true happiness for men..he swore by it, and my father told me it was the best advice ever and made his life amazing!!

Ok so here goes!!

1 Find a woman that makes you laugh.

2 Find a woman that can cook.

3 fi...

On the 0th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

A book on coding values in C.

What’s the difference between love, true love, and a show-off?

Love spits, true love swallows, and a show-off gargles.

If you're looking for true love...

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at anything to avoid making eye contact.

Define true love...

Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

My true love was a math professor

She is now my x and I am left wondering y.

Where do college dropouts go to meet their one true love?

OKStupid

You don' find out what true love is until you get married.

And by then it's to late to turn back.

Why did the Honeydew princess stay and marry Duke Watermelon instead of running off with her true love?

She cantaloupe

I found my true love on match dot com...

...which would have been nice if we were not already married for almost two years.

Why can't North Koreans find true love ?

Because they just can't find a Seoul-mate !

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Well, some people think its 'R', but that's just a hurtful stereotype.

Other people say that their true love is the 'C' which I can certainly understand...

But I find that it's actually the letter 'P', cause without it they're just irate.

My one true love cooks for me, cleans for me, has never talked back, does what I tell her to do, I can have my way with her any time I want, and she ALWAYS satisfies me.

But enough about my hand.

A cop pulls over a guy on a motorcycle...

and asks him for his name.

"My name is Ed." he said.

"Just Ed? no last name?"

"Just Ed."

"care to explain?" asked the cop.

"Well, it started a long time ago. I was Ed Johnson. As a kid, I always wanted to be a doctor. So I studied hard and finally graduated medic...

What’s is a Pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

Some believe it’s R but his true love is the C.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The ugly man

Once upon a time there was a man so ugly that society shunned him and he lived alone in a little house outside of town near the railroad tracks. He kept to himself most days but sometimes visited a dive bar further up the tracks where he'd nod to that bartender and sit in a corner and quietly drink ...

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Ed and Linda met on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.

When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Linda was ind...

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

It's not 'R.' A pirates's true love is the 'C.'

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