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Tiffany Jokes

I asked my girlfriend, "on a scale of one to Tiffany, how crazy are you?"

She said, "who's Tiffany?"

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Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Tiffany had prepared a lovely breakfast for her three sons, and asked them what they wanted to eat.

“I’ll have some of that fucking sausage,” said the oldest. Tiffany gave him a proper spanking for his foul language, and sent him to his room without any breakfast.

She returned to the...

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A train hits a bus full of Catholic highschool girls

They all arrive at the pearly gates, waiting in line to enter heaven.

St. Peter asks the first girl, "Mary, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Well, dip the tip of your f...

My Ex Tiffany

Edit:oh sorry I meant to post this to r/showerthoughts

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Donating

A woman (Tiffany) has fallen on hard times lately. She sees an ad online stating this company will buy her eggs for $200 a pop.

She goes to the building and gets in the elevator and presses the button for the 2nd floor. A man gets on and presses "5." The woman recognizes him as a friend from ...

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Shopping at Tiffany’s

A lady walks into Tiffany’s, looks around, spots a beautiful diamond necklace and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely at it, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a salesman wasn’...

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A bus full of nuns drives off a cliff and they get killed...

They get to the pearly gates and St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a question. ”

St. Peter turns to the first Nun and asks: “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The s...

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Todd comes into work one morning just grinning, and struts straight over to his coworker Jim.

"Damn, man! You know that new secretary, Tiffany? I banged her last night, and I gotta tell you! She was so hot in bed, she was even better than my wife!"

Jim high-fives him and they head off to work.

A few days later, Jim comes strutting in, grinning, and walks straight over to Todd.<...

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An elderly lady was at Tiffany's looking for a bracelet.

An elderly lady was at Tiffany's looking for a bracelet. She bent down to get a good view and out came a fart. She hoped no one had heard, but she looked and there was a well dressed salesman standing behind her. Hoping he did not notice, she asked him how much the bracelet cost. He said, "lady, if ...

Two of the Trump children were cheating on an exam..

The first question was "Old MacDonald had a ______." Eric tried to see Tiffany's paper, couldn't, so whispered "Tiffany, what's the answer to number 1?" She rolled her eyes and said "You are the stupid one of the family. It's Old MacDonald had a farm, everyone knows that." "Oh right!" said Eric....

A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender he’d like something tall, icy, and full of vodka.

The bartender holds up his finger for the man to wait a minute and yells into the back room, “Hey Tiffany, someone is here looking for you!”

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Free food isn't always the best

Tiffany and her coworkers are all servers and busboys at a busy seafood restaurant. Most of the food is higher end, and the plates can be pricey. The staff sees no problem with cleaning up the patrons' scraps, because they graze the leftovers at the same time.

A regular, Charlie, a man in h...

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A man gets home carrying a goat on his arms

As he founds his wife on the couch watching TV he says: "See honey, this is the cow I have to fuck when you're out of town".
The wife is furious: "You're disgusting!!! You're so fucking stupid that you cannot realize you're carrying a goat instead of a cow!!!"
To what the man replies: "I wasn'...

Can't get pregnant

Stacy: I have to be very careful, i just can't get pregnant now.

Tiffany: Didn't your husband get a vasectomy?

Stacy: Exactly!

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Two men are sitting at a bar.

One impeccably dressed in an Armani suit, the other in his work clothes. The business man turns to the other and says

- I bought my wife a brand new BMW and a 5 carat diamond for mother's day".

The worker looks confused and say:

- Why two such extravagant gifts?

- Well....

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enlarger

My wife suggested I get a penis enlarger. So I did, she's 25 and her name is Tiffany

A man moves from China to the US looking for work

After he and his wife settle in, they find themselves prospering in their new country. Years later, they have a son, who grows up to be a powerful and respected businessman. One day, he comes home with a woman wrapped around his arm

"Mom, Dad" he says,"This is Tiffany Wong." His parents are...

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