UPJOKE
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Theodor Jokes

You have to be an adult to see Theodore, the guy who takes the medical images at the hospital.

After all, he's x-ray Ted.

Why was Theodore so concerned when the stock price dropped?

He was invest-Ted.

Theodore was feeding geese when his friend David walked by

Say there, Theodore, what are you doing?"

"Why, I'm feeding these here geese, David."

"I can see that, but why do you keep staring at the bread crumbs?"

"Well, David, what's good for a goose is good for a gander."

Our daughter wants us to set a place at our Thanksgiving dinner table, for her teddy bear, Theodore. She promises he won't eat very much.

She said he has been eating a lot lately, and is already stuffed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley were walking down Pennsylvania Avenue

Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley were walking down Pennsylvania Avenue. As they passed the intersection with 15th street NW, they came across a man dressed as a massive phallus smoking a cigarette.

Roosevelt, being opposed to the use of tobacco products, stopped the man and said "Son, ...

What would Theodore Roosevelt be called if he was a professional bodybuilder?

Teddy Swolevelt.








Yes, I know it's awful, Just had to get it out of my head.

[Long] Theodore was once a wild horse, happily roaming amongst the sagebrush of Nye County, NV. But he wandered into Area 51 one day.

After the sensors detected his presence, Theodore was captured by scientists and used for experiments. One day, through a highly unethical and bleeding-edge process utilizing CRISPR, he was transformed into a human male.

Not everything carried over well between life as a horse and life as a ...

What did the blind kid with a lisp say when Theodore told him to open a door?

I cant Theodore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a lunatic asylum

He starts yelling "I'm going to derivate you all!"

All the Napoleons and Theodor Roosevelts start to panic while one guy just starts laughing his ass off.

When asked why he's laughing he says:

"I'm e^x"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope Goes to America

The Pope leaves Vatican City for an official trip to America.

After his flight lands, he is ushered off the plane by the pilot, who says to him "Welcome to America, Elvis. I bet you're glad to be home". To which the Pope replies, "Oh, my son, I am not Elvis. I am the Pope. I am the Holy One."...

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

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