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Theodore Jokes

You have to be an adult to see Theodore, the guy who takes the medical images at the hospital.

After all, he's x-ray Ted.

Why was Theodore so concerned when the stock price dropped?

He was invest-Ted.

Theodore was feeding geese when his friend David walked by

Say there, Theodore, what are you doing?"

"Why, I'm feeding these here geese, David."

"I can see that, but why do you keep staring at the bread crumbs?"

"Well, David, what's good for a goose is good for a gander."

Our daughter wants us to set a place at our Thanksgiving dinner table, for her teddy bear, Theodore. She promises he won't eat very much.

She said he has been eating a lot lately, and is already stuffed

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Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley were walking down Pennsylvania Avenue

Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley were walking down Pennsylvania Avenue. As they passed the intersection with 15th street NW, they came across a man dressed as a massive phallus smoking a cigarette.

Roosevelt, being opposed to the use of tobacco products, stopped the man and said "Son, ...

What did the blind kid with a lisp say when Theodore told him to open a door?

I cant Theodore.

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Obama Couldn't Sleep

One night President Obama couldn't sleep so he went down stairs to the kitchen to get a glass of milk and on the way he runs into Theodore Roosevelt and says ''Mr. Roosevelt, how can i make this country better?''. Theodore stands there for a second to think, and then says to Obama ''I don't know, ma...

What would Theodore Roosevelt be called if he was a professional bodybuilder?

Teddy Swolevelt.








Yes, I know it's awful, Just had to get it out of my head.

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The Pope Goes to America

The Pope leaves Vatican City for an official trip to America.

After his flight lands, he is ushered off the plane by the pilot, who says to him "Welcome to America, Elvis. I bet you're glad to be home". To which the Pope replies, "Oh, my son, I am not Elvis. I am the Pope. I am the Holy One."...

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

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