UPJOKE
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The Nice Jokes

The nice thing about Alzheimer’s is…

You meet new people every day!

Woman are so confusing nowadays. I thought opening the door would be the nice thing to do for a lady,

but she just screamed and flew out the plane.

I feel bad for all the nice women named Karen who have to deal with the bad stereotype of asking for managers. Sharon's too..

Because Sharon is Karen

This year, thousands of children made Santa's Naughty List. How many children made the Nice List?

69,420

The nice about putting a strangler behind bars.

Is that afterwards everyone can breathe a little bit easier.

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a ...

one of the nice things about getting old

is no longer having to worry about early-onset dementia

Why was the nice guy terrible at baseball?

He never got to third base.

My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it

Post office

The nice thing of living in a small village is that when you don't know what you're doing

someone else does.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish man and a Czechoslovakian man...

..were walking in a national forest. All of a sudden, a bear appeared and ate the Czechoslovakian man. The Jewish guy ran back to find someone to help. He found a Forest Ranger and told him what had happened. So the ranger took a gun and went back into the forest. There were two bears together. "Now...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The British Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus

They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head...

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