Chords Jokes - 17 Hilarious Chords Jokes

My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him...

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab, the results...

... speak for themselves

What's the difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist?

A rock guitarist plays 10 chords for 50,000 people, and a jazz guitarist plays 50,000 chords for 10 people.

The doctor told me my vocal chords were damaged

I was speechless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sitting on the examination table, a man says “D-D-Doctor I have a t-terrible st-t-utter and it ruins my p-p-professional and p-p-personal life.”

The doctor checks him out almost everywhere but sees no problem.

He says “take off your pants for me”.

The man hesitates but abides.

The doctor inspects him and says “I see! Your is about 6 inches too long, it’s pulling on your vocal chords and causing you to stutter”. ...

Stevie Wonder was doing a concert, and towards the end decided to play some requests.

A man called out, "Play a jazz chord." So Stevie played a short riff, but the man insisted: "No, no, play a jazz chord."

So Stevie played a longer riff: "No, no," said the man, "play a jazz chord."

Stevie tried again and again, until he was playing chords he'd never played in his life,...

Which Stevie Wonder song is known for its use of jazz Chords?

I Jazz Chord To Say I Love You..

If Gods favorite guitar chords is a Gsus....

The is the Priest's favorite chord A minor?

Three Music Chords Walk into a Bar

B Major chord, C Major chord and D minor chord walk into a bar.
B goes up to the bartender: "Give me a St. Bernardus."
"Here you go!" goes the bartender.
C goes up to the bartender: "Get me a Chimay!"
"Here you go!"
D goes up to the bartender: "I'd like a Duvel..."
To which...

Why can’t jazz musicians be trusted?

Because they always play sus chords.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stevie Wonder is playing in Japan for the first time ever...

Sitting at the piano in a concert hall, keen to please his new audience, Stevie shouts "Before I start, does anyone have any requests?"

Some little old Japanese man at the very back of the hall stands up and shouts back "Do a jazz chord!"

So Stevie obliges, playing an Eb Minor diminish...

The biologist

A biologist races into a bar in a celebratory mood. "I've done it!" he shouts to the bartender. "I've engineered immortal frogs!" "How's that?" asks the bartender. "I removed their vocal chords. They can't croak!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the Worst in Texas

There was only one other person there, a 80-something year old woman with flabby and makeup so thick it caked up around her eyes. She was sitting on the edge of the stage, smoking a rolled up cigarette between her dentures with her prosthetic metal hook hand.

When she saw me, she stood u...

Some musician related jokes

Why can't a clarinet player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start talking dirty, his voice cracks.

Why can't a French horn player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start making out, his hand goes to the wrong place.

What do you call a euphonium player who isn't part of a military band?...

When I compose songs on my piano, I play multiple notes at once to make my songs longer.

They're extension chords.

What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

Three chords and a lie

If you're a polka player

Can you get in trouble for counting chords?

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.