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Blarney Jokes

Blarney

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good lu...

Happy St Patrick’s Day! If you can’t kiss the Blarney Stone for luck just use a fake stone…

Any “sham rock” will do.

Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way

We urn it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best joke that I tell...got it from this sub over a year ago

A young American tourist just arrived in the Irish Countryside for vacation.



He steps into the nearest pub for a pint, and sits down near this old haggard man.



The old man looks over at the Tourist and says:



"Young man, do you see this Pub? I built this P...

I always wanted to visit Ireland one day

So I took a vacation there. I did all the stereotypical tourist things like drank in the pubs, saw the beautiful natural wonders, watched a game of football, visited the Blarney Stone, and so on.

Before I left, I figured I would buy a nice souvenir. And what better to take home from the Eme...

A man travels to Ireland for the first time.

His flight to Dublin arrives in the morning, and he travels into the countryside to stay for a few days. He goes to visit the Blarney Stone, feeds some animals at a ranch, and even gets to experience a rainstorm with a beautiful rainbow at the end. After his countryside excursion, he heads back to D...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Redheaded farmer is out in his field minding his own business.

He's tidying up down by the fence next to the road.

A posh limey comes gliding up in his Tesla.

Paddy, that's the Irish farmer, didn't hear the limey roll up so the limey honks his horn, startling Paddy.

"I say," asked the limey "does this road go to the Blarney Stone my good ma...

An Englishman is visiting Ireland for the first time...

His first stop is Cork where he decides he wants to kiss the famous Blarney Stone. Unfortunately for him he hasn't a clue where the stone is, so he walks into a pub to ask for directions.

He walks into the pub and yells, "Alright Paddies, I'm visiting from London and I'm looking for someone t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman walked down an alley in Belfast...

A thug jumped from the shadows and pointed a gun at him.

"Millie up, ya Croppy shite!" Said the thug. "I'll blast yer papist skull!"

"Bite the back o' me bullocks with that Blarney." Replied the Irishman. "I'm no Catholic, ya fookin eejit."

"Ha!" Said the thug. "Good craic! I tr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Jar in the Bar

So a man goes out to meet his buddies at a new bar. When he arrives, the first thing he sees is a giant glass jar in the far corner of the room, 7 feet by 6 feet, packed to the brim with $10 bills.

He sits down and asks his buddies, "What's with the jar?"
"No idea" responds his friend, s...

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