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Superpowers Jokes

Superpowers

I just melted an ice cube by staring at it.

Took about an hour longer than I thought it would though.

Superpowers....

Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
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“No”, she replies sleepily.
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“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me havin...

What do you call a group of drug dealers with superpowers?

The Powder Rangers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call transsexuals with mutant superpowers?

Ex-Men.

I just discovered another one of my superpowers:

I can put a song in someone's head during casual conversation, because that's the way, uh huh uh huh I like it, uh huh uh huh...

"With my sonic superpowers I shall call myself....

...TINNITUS!"

"Tinnitus?"

"Yeah! Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?"

A man with electric superpowers beat up an innocent woman...

He was charged with battery

If you're an X-Men fan, then every Kirby game is a Rogue-like

You run around stealing superpowers, after all.

Applying for jobs like...

**ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:**

Hiring recent college grads

**REQUIREMENTS:**

5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers.

There was a movie about a Mexican girl that was bitten by a radioactive salmon..

and of course she gained superpowers and became Salmon Ella.



The movie did great in Mexico, but unfortunately just made American audiences sick.

I've nicknamed my grandad Spiderman.

He doesn't have any superpowers, he just can't climb out of the bath.

A kid was talking to his dad excitedly.

"Dad, I saw a superhero yesterday!"

The dad chuckled, "Really? Cool."

"Yeah! He was dressed in really bright colors!"

"Are you sure he had superpowers?"

"Definitely! there was a kid crossing the street, and the superhero stopped the traffic with his bare hands!"

Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman was flying around metropolis one day...(NSFW)

...Minding his own business when all of a sudden he noticed Wonder Woman sunbathing nude on a roof. Wonder Woman appeared to be pretty amarous, as she was squirming around, moaning, and rubbing herself.

Superman:"Man, that's pretty damn hot. I know what I'll do. I'll fly down and use my supe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

About an inch

The UN is in session and the three major superpowers, the US, Russia, and China are trying to out do each other's achievements.

The US says "we have a missile that could reach any point on Earth with amazing precision and destroy it."

Everyone else starts chattering in disbelief and t...

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