Elon Musk announces he will visit ISS till Covid-19 stabilises.

And nobody even assumed this is a joke.

(This is tru) yesterday, I was with my niece, and she came round the corner on her bike with stabilisers, ‘look dad, no hands’, ‘that’s coz you have 4 wheels millie’ said her dad, ‘and you’re always scared when I go no hands’ and then he said:

‘I have 4 wheels in my car too’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what a set up, for a dad joke. it's worth it tho

full disclosure, this isn't my joke, was sent to me


I knew a bloke who was a massive fan of tractors his whole life.

When he was a kid, he didn't have toy cars or posters of lambos on his bedroom wall, he had toy tractors and trailers and posters of the latest John Deeres.

...

Onions

There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening. Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs...

[Long] A hunter is trying to put all his deer on his plane.

The pilot asks him, "How many have you got?"

"Nine", says the hunter.

The pilot shakes his head and replies, "I'm sorry, but this isn't a very powerful aircraft. At most, you'll only be able to bring five or six. Nine is too dangerous."

"Actually", the hunter points out, "I loa...

3 men in a plane, one with a knife, one with a gun and one with a bomb.

The plane was about to crash so the pilot says we need to shed weight fast, you all need to chuck your luggage out. They comply. The plane stabilises and they land safely.

The guy that chucked the knife out the plane returns home and sees his mother sobbing. When he asks why she said "some m...

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