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Skid Mark Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the skid mark lose the election?

It ran a smear campaign

Credit - Amazon Alexa (seriously, I asked my Alexa to tell me a poop joke and this is what she said)

What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road, and a dead lawyer in the road?

There's skid marks in front of the skunk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the skid mark say to the toilet bowl?

I'm gonna get pissed off in a minute.

What do you call skid marks on Spider-Man underwear?

The Dark Web

What’s the similarity between skid marks and my uncle?

you can find both in my boxers

There is an upside to eating Tide Pods....

It takes the skid marks out of your underwear.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

Racing game chair for sale!

Complete with skid marks!

Polack and dog

Q: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a polack who have been run over by a car.

A: For the polack, there won't be any skid marks.

I posted this cause I don't understand the joke can someone explain it ( it doesn't help that I'm polish)

First thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet

Women:
"Eeww! That's horrible; I must get cleaning equipment before I can use this."


Men:
"Hmmm... Can I remove this with the contents of my bladder?"

Roadkill...must have been a lawyer

Two men were walking along a road when they came across roadkill.

"I wonder what that was." said one of them.

"Looks like a lawyer to me." said the other.

"How do you know that?" said the first.

"No skid marks."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here It Is! The Poopie list!

Ghost Poopie--The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie--The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie--The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unw...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Shit List (from the office fax machine 30 or so years ago)

**THE SHIT LIST**

GHOST SHIT:

You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.

TEFLON COATED SHIT:

Comes out so slick, clean & easy you didn't even feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toile...

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