The bartender calls 911, "I need to report an attempted murder!"
Me: A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie
Friend: Gladiator?
Me: No I really miss her.
This joke may contain profanity. π€
Russell Crowe never regrets cunnilingus
He'll always be Gladiator.
Russell Crowe showed no remorse after cannibalising his wife.
In fact, he seemed like he was Gladiator.
This joke may contain profanity. π€
Russell Crowe never really liked performing cunnilingus on a woman but after having tried it for the first time...
he was gladiator.
What did Russell Crowe say when he went down on his girlfriend?
I don't know, but he was Gladiator
What did Russell Crowe say when he found out that his ex-wife was eaten by a cannibal?
I'm gladiator.
A guide to waking up in the morning
Step 1: Buy a rooster
Step 2: Name it Russell
Step 3: Fall asleep
Step 4: Wake up to Russell Crowe
A bunch of Hollywood celebrities formed two baseball teams...
...to raise money for a charity.
The day of the match arrived and everyone was ready. The celebrities were dressed in their outfits, some practising their throws and catches, others practising their swing. Russell Crowe was selected to umpire.
The match started, and the two teams, "The...
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