Two men and a woman are stranded on an island after a plane crash...

... Resourceful, they waste no time, build a house, find food and water, and globally have it good. After one month, the woman goes to the two men and says:


"Okay guys, let's be frank. I have my needs, you have your needs, let's do it. We'll take turns, one day it's you", she says to th...

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Adam said unto the lord...

‘This garden of Eden you have provided, it has endless beauty and boundless supplies of nuts and berries.
But I’ve no one to share it with oh lord.’

The lord was a pretty sharp dude and said unto Adam...

‘Actually I’ve been thinking about that very problem. I can see that you are ...

After the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to "Go forth and multiply!"...

The ark quickly emptied, except for two small snakes, who stayed behind.


When Noah asked them why, they replied, "We can't multiply. We're adders."


Noah, being the resourceful man he was, immediately got busy cutting down trees and building a large table with the unfinished...

A young Nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a gas station just one block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.




The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can he loaned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
...

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Tarzan was swinging through the jungle high in the canopy and his vine breaks....

He fell hitting jagged branches and thorns for about a hundred feet or so and slammed into the ground below wounded and dying.

A few hours later a witch doctor comes across him and decides to drag his lifeless body to his hut to try to help him. The witch Dr. examines Tarzan and sees that dur...

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A nun was hitchhiking and the truck driver decided to give her a lift

Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return. The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted:

- "Well, you know how lonely these roads can get, and we truckers really like to make some love on the way. And to be honest, I've never had sex with ...

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My uncle was born without eyelids....

My uncle was born without eyelids but the doctor was pretty resourceful. He took his foreskin and made eyelids with it. My uncle is fine now, just a little cock eyed

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There was a groundbreaking surgery performed here in Houston, TX.

A baby was born recently that had a congenital condition that caused problems with the development of the delicate tissues on his face. The poor child was born without eyelids. Resourceful doctors and surgeons came up with a plan to circumcise the baby boy and use his foreskin to construct new eyeli...

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A panda bear walks into a fancy bar...

The Panda Bear is seated at the finest table in the place and is greeted by the bar's best waitress. The Panda Bear orders the most expensive bottle of wine and steak on the menu.

As he finished his last bite of steak, the waitress asks, "How was your meal?" Without saying a word the Panda B...

A man walks into a harware store....

A man walks into a hardware store after his crazy ex-girlfriend broke all his furnature. Being a resourceful guy, he decided to fix his damaged possessions rather than buying new ones. He found all the hammers, nails, screwsm and other items he needed, but was lacking one tool he didnt't know the na...

One day, a woman had 99 children.

She was the first woman to have this many children, and she was extremely surprised, and also shocked since she did not have the patience to come up with a name for every one, so she decided to name them simply 1-99. So the first child was one, and the next was two, and so on.

Three years lat...

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English man, French, American and a Russian are captured by hungry cannibals

English man, French, American and a Russian are captured by hungry cannibals. The chief comes out and speaks to the men, "We are cannibals so we will eat you all. But we are also humane cannibals so we will grant you one wish before we eat you."

English man is first, "I would like to have a n...

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