UPJOKE

10 Foot Jokes

As a spectator at the last Summer Olympics, I saw a guy walking around carrying a 10 foot long stick...

"Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.

"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

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A guy with a 10 foot crocodile walks into a bar...

The bartender yells, "hey you can't bring that in here, it might bite someone!" The guy says, "ah, he's harmless, watch this," opens the croc's mouth, whips out his dick and sticks it in its mouth. He lets it there for about 5 minutes, while the crocodile just sits with its mouth open. Finally he sa...

Call me racist as much as you want, but South of the border is a sea of violence corruption disease and hate I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole.

I'm just lucky I live in Suriname.

A construction contractor buys a 10 foot Italian submarine sandwich to feed his crew

It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san...

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[nsfw] so apparently adult male whales have a 10 foot long penis when fully erect

The only thing i dont get is how rebel wilson fits it in her pants

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What did the farmer say when I dug a perfect 6×8×10 foot pit to bury his dead donkey?

"Wow. What an asshole."

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A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million do...

i heard that the tallest polish man was 9 foot

i wont trust that with a 10 foot pole

A French man, a German man, and a Polish man go skydiving

First, the French man jumps out of airplane. At the right time, he says "viva la France" and pulls the ripcord. Then, the German man jumps out and pulls the ripcord at precisely 1000 feet. Then, the Polish man jumps out of the airplane and he passes the 1000 foot mark but does not pull the ripcord. ...

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A guy goes up to the Yukon and wants to hear some old Gold Rush stories....

so he goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he knows any old stories. Bartender says "you best ask old Ned." and indicates towards a man sitting in the corner in a wheelchair.

Old Ned is wizened with a long scraggly beard. He has a comforter across his knees as he nurses his beer.
...

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A mathematician and an engineer are in a room with a naked woman

The woman is horny, and says to the two that she will have sex with the first person to reach her. However, she is on a bed 10 feet away from them. Their condition is to start at that 10 foot mark together, and move half the available distance each time the decide to move closer.

The mathemat...

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Jesus and a parrot

There was once a man who had bought an incredibly intelligent European parrot.
He thought, hell, it's so intelligent he could give it some chores. He thought the most efficient way to make the parrot obedient is to threaten it; saying that if it disobeys him, he'll nail it right next to Jesus Ch...

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A very quiet man married a naggy wife

He's a good provider and makes a lot of money as a farmer. Despite giving her everything she wants, she still complains and nags him everyday. Years into the marriage, he starts to feel fed up being nagged by the wife. One day he took his wife to his farm and pushed her into a 10 foot deep hole. Fro...

Two cellmates in an asylum decide to escape

So they wait until midnight, when everyone is asleep, and start. They grab their bedsheets and tie them end-to-end to make a rope. Soon, though, they realize that they're on the top floor, and that they wouldn't have enough rope to climb down to the ground. Then, one of them gets an idea. He says "H...

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