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Picasso Jokes

Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Donald trump arrive in heaven.

Saint Peter tells them that if they can prove that they really are who they say they are, they can go in. Picasso starts painting immediately, creating a master piece. Saint Peter thanks him and lets him in. He then turns to Einstein, who explains the theory of general relativity to him. Saint Peter...

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Picasso, Caravaggio, and Warhol meet in Hell.

They ask for an appointment with god to ask him why they went to hell despite being great artists who gave so much to the world.

God says, "Caravaggio, you were a street gang bully and a literal murderer. Of course you go to hell."

"What about me?" Picasso says.

"Picasso, you tr...

A guy sees Picasso painting something new in his studio..

The guy says "Hey that's a nice painting of a refrigerator!" Picasso furrows his eyebrows and says "Refrigerator? That's my wife!"

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Vincent Van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Claude Monet, and Leonardo De Vinci are all eating at a nice restaurant when the waitress comes around with the bill.

They’d all ordered the same item and had previously agreed to split the bill four ways.

When they looked at the check, however, they saw that the 10% gratuity would not split evenly, so one of them would end up paying an extra $0.01.

“We should have an art competition to decide,” Da Vi...

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Did you see the toilet Picasso designed?

It was a masterpiss.

What do Picasso and a terrible boxer have in common?

They both spend a lot of time on the canvas!

Parliament vote on Picasso painting:

Eyes to the left: 2
Nose to the right: 1

Einstein dies and goes to heaven

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to

sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a ...

When Pablo Picasso was a young struggling artist, he was several months behind in the rent.

The landlord came by and told him that if he didn't come up with the money he would be evicted on Tuesday.


Picasso exclaimed, "Before you kick me out, just think, years from now people will look at this building and say the great Picasso lived there."


The landlord looked at him...

A man who claimed he'd found a £100 million Picasso in his attic, which later turned out to be fake, has been accused of selling more forgeries...

Police said when they went to arrest him, he made a terrible scream, which they've also taken as evidence.

There is a hostile atmosphere in the Picasso exhibit

A lot of side-eye

Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his studio

The burglar got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

One day Pablo Picasso returned to his workshop and saw a thief running out...

When the gendarmerie came to investigate, Picasso told them that he could draw a picture of the man. Armed with his drawing, the gendarmes quickly arrested a three-legged dog, a letter box, and the Eiffel Tower.

Kanye West compares himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs.

Apparently none of them could sing, either.

According to commercials, women are like Picasso.

They have a blue period.

I just got fired from my job in Museum

They said they're not happy with my work here, which is ridiculous, i only worked here for 2 days and already sold 2 picassos.

Einstein, Picasso and George W. Bush stand before the Pearly Gates

Einstein, Picasso and Bush stand before the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter gets out to greet them and says: "I'll let you in, but first you have to prove that you are who you say you are."

Einstein: "That's easy. Could you give me a blackboard and some chalk, please?"

St. Peter snaps h...

Picasso said "good artists copy but great artists steal"

I don't understand if this sub if filled with good artists or great artists

I had a girlfriend who was into Picasso and Mexican food

She was really artsy-fartsy.

My buddy is dating this girl who loves Mexican food and Picasso

She's kinda of artsy fartsy.

A real Picasso painting declared a forgery by a fake authenticator...

...is art officially artificial according to an artificial art official.

I look like a Greek God

painted by Picasso.

What is Picasso's favorite gaming console?

Game cubism.

What did Picasso and Smurfette have in common?

Both had blue periods.

Einstein, Casals, Picasso, and George W. Bush die and go to heaven.

Einstein, Casals, Picasso, and George W. Bush die and go to heaven. St. Peter is waiting for them, and requests identification. Einstein, who is first in line, says "I don't have any ID, but I can explain the equivalence of matter and energy." He is given a blackboard and proceeds to give an eloquen...

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I found an old violin and a painting in the attic.

The antique dealer said, "The good news is you've got a Stradivarius and a Picasso. The bad news is Stradivarius was a terrible painter and Picasso made crap violins."

Which artist has a brown finger?

Picasso

Pick up lines change as you get older.

In your 20's - I have an original 1965 Ford Mustang.

In your 40's - I have an original Picasso.

In your 60's - I have my original hips

An Arab oil sheik is standing in a Paris gallery

He says, "I admire Picasso. No one has sold his oil as expensively as he did."

A broke man goes to a famous lawyer...

"I have no money but I can give you an original Picasso drawing"

"That sounds good! What are you accused of?"

"stealing a Picasso drawing."

Would a 10'x10'x10' workspace...

...used by a Havana artist studying Picasso's style be a Cuban cubist's cubical cubicle?

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