Peter Parker Jokes - 19 Hilarious Peter Parker Jokes

Why does Peter Parker only have eleven months on his calendar?

Because he lost May.

If Peter Parker's webs are made out of spider silk ,then what is Miles Morales webs made out of ?

Cotton.

PS: I am black , so yeah , don't fill my inbox.

I'm surprised Peter Parker chose photography as a side-hustle...

He seemed like a natural fit for web-development.

Peter Parker and Tony Stark walk into a bar.

Bartender: what can I get for you today?

Tony: I’ll have a margarita, and the kid’s gonna get a Capri-Sun.

Peter: Mr. Stark I’m 21.

Tony:

Peter: I can order my own Capri-Sun.

How does Peter Parker keep track of the number of arachnids in any given neighborhood?

He uses his spider census.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Peter Parker was at home alone one day, when suddenly aunt may walks in on him masturbating.

I guess she was the first person to see Spiderman home coming.

In an upcoming movie, Peter Parker brings the founder of Theranos to justice

They are calling it: "Spiderman: No way, Holmes"

Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

Which of Peter Parker's guardians would keep his secret?

His uncle wouldn't, but his aunt may.

What's the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls?

Parker gets paid for his selfies.

Everyone talks about Peter Parker because he was lucky enough to get bitten by the cool kind of radioactive spider...

My buddy Dave got bit by a radioactive brown recluse, and he just turned into a shut in.

How many superheroes can you fit in one car?

Five

Two in the front

Two in the back

And Peter Parker in the ash tray

What does Spider-Man and your mouth have in common?

They're both Peter Parkers.

I named my wife's wild mouth after spider man

Peter Parker

Did you know Spider Man can drive without using his hands?

That’s why his name is Peter Parker.

Tony Stark gives TED talks for a post-Iron Man living

He has done it many times before, and his 'If you're nothing without it then you shouldn't have it' motto is widely followed by the entire world.

"But I'm nothing without GTA V!" "If you're nothing without GTA V then you shouldn't have it." for example.

One day, the entire world is in ...

What's the difference between spider man and superman?

peter parker can shoot webs. clark kent.

Tony Stark wasn't crying

There was just some Peter Parker in his eye.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's a slow day of crime in Metropolis...

...and Superman is bored to tears. So he decides to fly over to Gotham City to see what Batman is up to. He gets to the Batcave to find the Dark Knight underneath the Batmobile.
"Hey, Bruce," he says. "Whatcha up to today? Wanna get a couple beers, maybe watch the game?"
"Sorry man, I can't," ...

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