What is a benefit of parkinson's disease?

Mosquitoes don't bite you

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What's the difference between a oyster shucker with Parkinson's and a prostitute with diarrhea

One of them fits when they shuck

Just found out one of the ladies who sang "Push It" has Parkinson's

She's a Salt-N-Pepa shaker now

I met someone with Parkinson's disease.

He was great at shaking hands.

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What do you call a cow with parkinson's disease?

Beef jerky

Free Organic Pathologist Test

Go upto a tree and take a leak:


* If pee attracts ants, you've got diabetes.
* If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
* If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
* If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's.
* If you missed the tree, Parkinson's.
* If you peed on yo...

What's worse, Alzheimer's or Parkinson's?

Does it really matter whether you spill your drink or you forgot where you put it?

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Paddy is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home.

Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mary, age 82, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.

After a short lull in their conversation, Padd...

I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.

The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.

He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."

The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.

He grunted "I had a fig...

I'm really worried about getting Parkinson's.

It really gives me the shakes.

What do you call a black guy with Parkinson's?

A chocolate shake.

When I get old I prefer the Parkinson over Alzheimer

I prefer Parkinson's .. Alzheimer's I will forget my bottle of wine .. and Parkinson's I will only lose half the drink.

What do you call it when a deaf person has parkinson's?

A stutter.

(I just made this up and feel terrible and couldn't find the "I'm going to hell" sub so here ya go!)

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What do you call a paedophile with Parkinson's

assault shaker

How do you greet someone with Parkinson's?

What's shakin'?

Why is Alzheimer's better than Parkinson's?

Because it's no big deal to forget a beer but a tragedy to spill a beer.

.

.

.

That's Bavarian dark humor for you.

I saw people collecting for Parkinson's and they were shaking tins which I thought was insensitive.

-Gary Delaney-

What do you call a classical writer with Parkinson's and a drinking problem?

Shakesbeer.

Did you hear about the long-engaged couple with Parkinson's?

They finally tied the knot!

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At the onset of Parkinson's disease, what's the first thing you should do?

Glue your hand to your cock.

What instructions are not needed on Parkinson's Medicine?

Shake well before use.

I met an Italian with parkinson's.

He talked with a stutter.

What do Barcelona FC and a dog walker with Parkinson's have in common?

Neither of them can hold a lead.

My friend told me this hilarious joke about Parkinson's last night

But I don't want to tell it because I'm a little shaky on the details.

What's the best thing about having Parkinson's?

Never having to buy another electric toothbrush.

I was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.

I was shaken by the news!

What do you call a religious man with Parkinson's?

A Quaker

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3 Men With Parkinson's.

Three men with Parkinson's are sitting in a bar, and one says to the other two, "Eurgh, life is so hard, it took me ten minutes to open my front door his morning!"

Another says, "You think you have it hard? It took me fifteen minutes to butter some toast!"

To which the third man replie...

Not only do I have Cancer, MS, Parkinson's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, and Alzheimerโ€™s; I went to the Doctor today and he told me that I have another weird-named disease:

Hypochondria.

Prayers please, every upvote counts as a prayer ^/s

A new thrift store just opened up in my town, and all proceeds go to Parkinson's research...

you get a 10% discount if you do the secret hand shake.

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I used to shave my testicles with a razor blade.

But since I got Parkinson's, I don't have the balls to do it anymore.

I have been working on some jokes about Parkinson's disease.

But the punch lines are all a bit shakey at best.

I would rather have Parkinson's than Alzheimer's

Because it's better to spill half the glass than forget where you put the liquor.

What do you call a hunter class Neanderthal with Parkinson's Disease?

Shakespeare

My cow got Parkinson's

Now she only produces milkshakes.

Parkinson's

My friend asked me the other day if I had any advice for dealing with Parkinson's, apparently 'just shake it off' wasn't the right answer.

How does Michael J. Fox deal with his Parkinson's disease?

He just shakes it off.

Did you hear about the Deaf guy with Parkinson's?

His sign language was a little shaky

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What happened to Juan?!

There once was a man named Juan(65M), who was seeing this woman named Maria(60F)... every Saturday, they had a ritual. They would meet up at the local park, sit on the bench, and Maria would hold his penis. They enjoyed about a year of this relationship, before one Saturday, Juan failed to show.
...

My doctor prescribed me a drink to help with my Parkinson's disease.

On the front it says, "Shake before use."

I'm currently dating a woman that, like me, has Parkinson's and kleptomania.

We're going to take things slow.

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An elderly couple in a senior's home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys's penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another woman holding his penis.

"What's she got that I don't have" she says. He looks up with a large smile on his face and replies "Parkinson's"

Long- There is this old couple who could no longer care for themselves so they join an assisted living center

At first everything is going fine as they transition to the new lifestyle. When they first had joined the center they were seen as a loving couple as he had his hand on her thigh and she had her hand on his but over time they seemed to drift apart and about a year later he no longer even sat with he...

What's your favorite type of shake?

Chocolate, vanilla, or Parkinson's?

Two very active seniors

Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89), living in The Villages, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way, they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter, "Are you ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Old Man and Old Woman in a Nursing home

An old man and an old woman live in a nursing home. Their spouses have died and they're lonely. After meeting each other, they begin dating. Because they're so old, they can't engage in sex anymore, but they like to just lie in bed, while the old woman holds the old man's penis.

This goes on ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My friends and I get bullied a lot

I was at school, going to the lunchroom with my friends- James (he has Parkinson's Disease), Alex (he's mute), Megan (she's completely blind in both eyes), Abby (she has asthma) and Hayley (she's albino). I myself am paralyzed from the waist down and so I need to use a wheelchair. Since my friends a...

How do you make a room full of epileptics go nuts?

Ask someone with Parkinson's disease to turn off the lights!

My grandfather had a stutter, which was really weird, since he was born deaf.

Turns out it was just Parkinson's.

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