Parkinson's Jokes

Does it really matter whether you spill your drink or you forgot where you put it?

My friend asked me the other day if I had any advice for dealing with Parkinson's, apparently 'just shake it off' wasn't the right answer.

He was great at shaking hands.

It really gives me the shakes.

I'd rather lose half my beer than forget where I left it.

She's a Salt-N-Pepa shaker now

Shake well before use.

Now she only produces milkshakes.

What's shakin'?

He talked with a stutter.

They finally tied the knot!

I was shaken by the news!

Because it's no big deal to forget a beer but a tragedy to spill a beer.

.

.

.

That's Bavarian dark humor for you.

Never having to buy another electric toothbrush.

Because it's better to spill half the glass than forget where you put the liquor.

But I don't want to tell it because I'm a little shaky on the details.

A stutter.

(I just made this up and feel terrible and couldn't find the "I'm going to hell" sub so here ya go!)

But the punch lines are all a bit shakey at best.

He just shakes it off.

Hypochondria.

Prayers please, every upvote counts as a prayer ^/s

Neither of them can hold a lead.

A Quaker

-Gary Delaney-

Shakespeare

On the front it says, "Shake before use."

We're going to take things slow.

Shakesbeer.

His sign language was a little shaky

you get a 10% discount if you do the secret hand shake.

Wheelchairs side by side, night after night, their affection blossoms to the point she lays her hand on his crotch. This happens like clockwork, every night.
One night, she wheels herself to the courtyard. To her horror, he is sitting next to another woman's wheelchair.
In tears, she whee... read more

The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.

He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."

The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.

He grunted "I had a fig... read more

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.


Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"...
The pharmacist answers "Yes".


Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
... read more

Chocolate, vanilla, or Parkinson's?

Go up to a tree and take a leak:

* If pee attracts ants, you've got diabetes.
* If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
* If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
* If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's.
* If you missed the tree, Parkinson's.
* If you peed on your s... read more

Peter: If it were to happen, would you want to have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?

John: Parkinson's, of course.

Peter: Why is that?

John: I'd rather spill some wiskey than forget where I put the bottle.

Turns out it was just Parkinson's.

Trump wants to cancel $100 million in research funds for Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.

I can't remember why, but I bet that'll really shake things up.

Unfortunately, Parkinson's beat me to it.

God meets alcoholic and tells him that he has been doing a lot of wrong things so has to suffer. He tells him he can choose one out of two diseases.

* Parkinson's disease (hand will shake continuously)
* Alzheimer's disease (memory loss)

After thinking for some, he replied that he ... read more

An old man and woman become very close at a nursing home. He wants to take their friendship to the next level, but the old woman doesn't want to. He convinces her one day to "just hold it". She does this end enjoys being intimate with a man again. They continue this every day at the same time, in th... read more