UPJOKE
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Outnumbered Jokes

( This joke was made up by my eight year old son. ) Why did the letters lose the battle against the numbers?

They were outnumbered.

What's the first way to know when you're growing old?

It's your birthday and the only ones who wish you happy birthday are your doctors.

(Not so much a joke. It's my birthday and guess who wished me happy birthday so far.)

Outnumbered 6 to 5, John brought grenades to a water balloon fight.

Isn't that a little... excessive?"

"No, I'm just trying to level the playing field.

Two groups of rabbis were having an argument at a synagogue...

Rabbi Isaac said: "Fourteen other rabbis here agree with me, Rabbi Herschel, please just accept our position."

Rabbi Herschel begins to pray along with two other rabbis who take his side, when all of a sudden, a great booming voice says: "I am Adonai, the Lord, and Rabbi Herschel is right" an...

Never fight a math teacher

You’ll always be outnumbered

I joined a math contest the other day

And against all odds,



I was severely outnumbered

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the evening of 24 December 1944...

...a team of Allied commandos were taking advantage of the German revelry, sneaking behind enemy lines to kill or capture the kommandant of the nearby Nazi base, Klaus von Braun.

From their position in the shadows, they watched the kommandant as he passed from soldier to soldier, thanking...

Military exercise

Drill Sargeant: Listen up ladies, you see these sticks? Pinecones?, Those are your training weapons!

John: So a stick is our rifle? And pinecones are grenades?

Drill sargeant: Look who's catching on, yes If you believe hard enough you won't need an actual rifle or a grenade. Not just s...

A private ran to his General, sending a message from the front lines. He was in utter distress.

"Sir! We are outnumbered three to one, and..."

"Private! Get me my red shirt," he interrupted, "When I bleed in battle, I don't want the soldiers to be discouraged."

"Sir! You don't understand, they have battalions of heavy artillery, and their tanks are twice the..."

The Genera...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man who is a veteran of the great war was sitting in his chair next to his fireplace as usual when his grandchildren came for a cool story...

The kids asked "Grandpa grandpa! Tell us a story from your times of war before bed! Please please pleeease..."
The man is sick of telling those stories because they always remind him of the bad times and out of anger, he goes:

-One day when we were in the trench, the enemy got us outnumber...

Three prisoners break out of their jail cell.

There is only one prison guard, and he knows he is outnumbered. Instead of trying to take the prisoners down, he shouts “Hey! I don’t think you should do this. You should go back to your cells and wait out your sentence.“ The prisoners laugh, but the guard keeps talking. He gives them every reason w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Glorious bastard.

An old veteran setting with his grandkids telling tails about his glories in Vietnam, "I lost contact to the base, and five bastards surrounded me, I tried to fight, but they outnumbered me, they said we either kill you here right now, or you suck our dicks and we let you go". "So what happened gra...

All numbers are equal

Long ago in the Kingdom of Natural Numbers, there used to be slaves. The citizens appreciated the number 2 so much, to a point that they would determine one's social class by his/her divisibility by 2. And those not divisible by 2 - sorry, then they're slaves.

7 was born an odd number. That's...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So three guys get captured by cannibals...

They are surrounded and hopelessly outnumbered. The chief cannibal tells them if they want to get out alive, first they must go into a grove and collect 12 of any fruit. They set off. The first guy comes back with apples. The cheif tells him, now you must insert all of them into your asshole without...

Starcraft joke.

It's been 15 years since North Korea broke the Korean Armistice Agreement (cease fire agreement), and both North and South Korea are desperate to end the war since they are running low on resources. One South Korean general decided that he needs every help he can find to win the war so he brings Jae...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Motherfucker sure can drive...

A bartender is working late one evening when a guy comes in. The guy asks for a shot, takes the shot, swishes it around in his mouth, spits it on the floor, and says "Motherfucker sure can drive."

The bartender thinks it's a bit strange but leaves the guy alone because he's clearly very dist...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 explorers are ambushed by cannibals...

Fighting valiantly the explorers held their ground longer than expected. Unfortunately they were outnumbered by the cannibalistic tribesman 5 to 1. They were eventually forced to surrender.
Defeated, the explorers were bound together and gagged by the tribesman, who carried off the three men to ...

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