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How Men Know Childbirth Isnā€™t The Most Painful Event

An older couple were enjoying a walk one evening when they observed a younger man getting kicked in the groin. The husband says, ā€œThat is the by far the most painful experience anyone can have.ā€ The wife huffs and says ā€œYou ever give birth to a child?ā€ The husband responds, ā€œHoney, after our first...

You donā€™t know anything about pain until youā€™ve seen your own baby drowned in a tub...

And you definitely donā€™t know anything about how to wash a baby.

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(Anthony Jeselnik)

When you die, you donā€™t know youā€™re dead. Itā€™s just painful for everyone around you.

Itā€™s the same when you act like a dumbass

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This is a joke.

# A moth goes into a podiatristā€™s office, and the podiatristā€™s office says, ā€œWhat seems to be the problem, moth?ā€The moth says ā€œWhatā€™s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I donā€™t even know what Iā€™m doing anymore. I donā€™t eve...

A man with a list of symptoms goes to the doctors office

A man shuffles into the doctors office, hunched over, wheezing, and clutching his stomach.

Man: ā€œhi doc, Iā€™ve been in constant pain.ā€

Doctor: ā€œWhatā€™s the matter? Tell me the most prevalent symptoms.ā€

Thinking, the man slowly replies

Man: ā€œ I have aches all over, I have a...

A man, his wife and the doctor are in the hospital while the wife gives birth

Husband: are you ok?

Wife: I am ok, Iā€™m really not, this feels great, this is the worst pain of my life

Husband: what does this mean?

Doctor: donā€™t worry, those are just the contradictions

William Shakespeare came to get vaccinated.

Nurse: Which arm?

Shakespeare: As You Like It

Nurse: Was that painful?

Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing

Nurse: You will have to have a second jab.

Shakespeare: Measure For Measure

Nurse: So what do you think of the general awareness with regard to Covi...

People talking in a bar.

First guy is explaining that the doctor had killed his brother.

Second guy being a lawyer was interested to find out more.

First guy explains that his brother had been having chest painā€™s and thought he was having a heart attack so he went to the doctor and the doctor examined him and ...

The Silver Woman [Long]

One dark night a Frenchman by the name of Guillaume was hiking through the forest. Enraptured by the natural beauty of the world around him, he paused for a moment, taking in the cool breeze blowing through the trees, the sparkling ceiling of stars, and sighed contentedly. Looking up he saw a bright...

The Genie and the Demon

Three men are out walking in the woods one day, when they stumble upon an old bronze lamp. Naturally, having spent much of their lives reading internet jokes, their first inclination is to rub the lamp and excitedly greet the genie that emerges.

"You have freed me from my near-eternal captivi...

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A man was diagnosed with infertility

Even after trying several meds he couldn't find cure. One day he was suggested by a friend to visit a miraculous hermit outside the town who claimed to cure all kinds of ailments. The man visits the hermit and describes his problem.

The hermit said: "I have a solution. Here are 2 magical cond...

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My team decided to establish a tradition

Everyone on the team would sit in a circle surrounding the team captain before the start of the season. He would then headbutt the ball at one of us, and they would have to headbutt it back at him. The captain would then headbutt it at the person sitting next to them. This would repeat as it cycled ...

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