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Mount Everest Jokes

What do you call Snoop Dogg on Mount Everest?

The highest place on Earth.

I once went to climb Mount Everest...

... came across a local village farmer who said he had a rooster that could lay eggs.

I said, “How is that possible?”

He said, “Himalayan Rooster”

TIL: bumblebees can fly higher than mount Everest

Kinda obvious. Considering mount Everest can't fly

My friend went missing after he set out to summit Mount Everest

After days of extensive search rescue workers found Himalayan dead in the snow.

A man climbs Mount Everest.

He manages to reach the top, looks out at the amazing view, and promptly bursts into tears.

"Sir, what is wrong?" His guide asks.

The man struggles to get himself under control. "I- I just- I just realized..."

"My entire life will be all downhill from here."

I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No."

“It’s to look at.”

My wife thinks our friend is lying when he claimed that he scaled Mount Everest, but I disagree.

I think..he made it up.

My friend keeps telling me how much he wants to climb Mount Everest.

I then told him, “Get over it!”.

Burt and Mack are climbing Mount Everest.

Burt and Mack are climbing Mount Everest when suddenly Burt falls in to a crevasse 1000 ft. deep.
“Hey Burt! Are you alive?” shouts Mack from above.
“Yeah I am.”
“I’m going to drop down a rope, grab onto it and I’ll pull you out.”
“I can’t. My arms are broken.”
“Okay then w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young lady is set to be the first woman to orgasm on the peak of Mount Everest.

Reports say that she'll be coming round the mountain when she cums.

I just heard the owner of Dulux paint passed away on Mount Everest

Apparently he could've done with another coat

What did Haley Joel Osment find on Mount Everest?

Icy dead people.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do people that masturbate on mount Everest and terrorists on a plane have in common?

They are all hijacking.

I'm sorry and I will let myself out.

Oh, you want to climb to the top of Mount Everest?

Did it PEAK your interest?

Contrary to popular belief, Mount Everest is not packed with climbers all year round...

It only gets busy at peak times.

Many people daydream about being on the top of Mount Everest,

It turns out they're already super high.

I hear the view from Mount Everest is breathtaking...

literally.

Why do people get depressed when they reach the peak of Mount Everest?

Because it's all downhill from there

An American biker decides to travel the world...

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Ha...

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TIL On May 25th 2001, a blind man named Erik Weihenmayer climbed the top of Mount Everest...

When asked how he feels, he said "I'm gonna kill that fucking guide dog of mine!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between standing on top of Mount Everest and getting a blowjob from a 90 year old grandma?

There is none.

In both cases you're enjoying but you must not look down.

I just learned that my college physics professor had a heart attack and died after climbing Mount Everest....

It’s so sad. He had so much potential

What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?

A HIGH-POT-IN-USE

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Climbing Mount Everest, Bob complains about being in pain...

...the guide takes him to the side, points to the front of the group and says "Look at Vince, he's got no legs and he's leading the group, you have legs and you're at the back, what's your excuse?" He looks the tour guide in the eyes and replies "my fucking legs hurt"

A Pokemon GO player climbed to the summit of mount Everest...

...convinced that he would could catch a rare Pokemon. All he caught was a cold. It stared with a peak achoo.

Pieces of cooked meat have been found on mount Everest recently...

The steaks have never been higher.

Did i ever tell you the story about how I climed mount everest?

I made it up

My friend and I are just in the middle of climbing Mount Everest. We are so exhausted, when we get to the top...

Me and Himalayaing down for a bit

A group of adventurers on Mount Everest have banded together to clean up the stuff left behind by past expeditions. It will likely take them at least 3 years.

More if there are any vegetarians. Less if they develop a taste for freezer burned meat.

4 things that can be seen from space

1. The Eiffel Tower
2. Mount Everest
3. Pyramids of Giza
4. President Volodymyr Zelenskyy's massive balls

You're not stupid if you haven't been to university

Einstein never went to university and he was the first man to climb mount Everest

An old Lithuanian joke (roughly translated)

Two men of which one had a really bad stutter decided to climb mount everest. They set up at the bottom, waved to everyone who came to wish them luck and started climbing... Around 8 hours of exhausting climbing later the one with the stutter goes "I-I-I f-f-f-f" the other one cuts him off and goes ...

What did the mountain climber name his horse?

Everest. Any time he is bored I see him Mount Everest.

You know that you’re at the highest point in your life...

...when you’re smoking weed on Mount Everest.

A man and his friend were talking about their New Year's Resolutions.

Friend: I heard you set some really tough resolutions, have you completed them?


Man: Well of course! I've swam across the Pacific Ocean in only speedos.


Friend: Neat.


Man: Scaled Mount Everest naked!


Friend, a bit skeptical: Really?


Man: Well, t...

Young mountain climber

My son made a model of mount Everest for his school project.
"Is it to scale?" I asked him.
"Don't be stupid Dad, it's just to look at!"

Half term plans?

Who is going away for half term. I was quoted £12k for a trip to Mount Everest. It's a bit steep.

How to tell whether someone is an idiot

“Doctor, how can you tell whether someone is an idiot, even if he looks normal to you?”

“For that, we have special questions.”

“Can you name an example?”

“Mountaineer Brown climbed Mount Everest three times but he was killed during one of these ascents. Can you tell me which one...

A man goes into a pet shop and asks the owner for something amazing but also cheap

The owner says that he has a talking fox for only £20. The man says "How rediculous, foxes can't talk and even if they could why would you sell him so cheap?!". While he's asking this a fox comes over, puts his paw on the desk as if to interrupt and says "Actually I can talk. I've written 3 books an...

A man goes to a restaurant...

Where he seats himself at a table and browses the menu.

After settling on what he wants, he places the order with the waitress.

After his food arrives, he grabs his plate and leaves the restaurant, climbs into his car and drives to the airport.

There, he boards a plane to Nepal,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are at the airport...

Three guys are at the airport, Bill, Peter, and Jack. Each one of them is there to send his boyfriend off on a flight to the neighbouring state. All three significant others board the flight, but as it is taking off it catches fire and smashes into the ground killing everybody on it. So after the fl...

A particle physicist met a quark collector...

... and discovered the latter, named Richard, had managed to get his hands on two of the most elusive quarks - the notorious up-quark and the sought-after down-quark.

Now the physicist was a bit of a connoisseur himself, and had managed to get his hands on all the four other quarks and their ...

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