UPJOKE
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I am sick and tired of millenials and their entitled attitude.

Always walking around like they rent the place.

What does Tarzan falling to his death have in common with Millenials?

I miss Vine.

Millenials dream about owning a house

Too bad it's surreal estate

My favorite question on the job interview with millenial is

What do you want to become after the burnout?

Take it from a millenial...

Nothing makes you hate millenials more than growing up with them.

Why do millenials think the government saved their lives?

Because they are indebted to it forever.

I heard millenials like suicide jokes.

So I've been dying to make one.

How many millenials does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They hold the lightbulb as the world revolves around them.

What do Millenials and Christmas Trees have in common?

They used to thrive, but now they're dead inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OCD Millenials

I was talking to this girl with OCD at a bar. She was pissed at her boyfriend for teasing her, so I asked what happened. She said "I can't odds."

How do you measure Millenials?

In Instagrams...

Why don't Millenial barbers ever get sideburns right?

They literally can't even.

What kind of ghost hates millenials?

A "BOOOOO"MER

What will most millenials buy during their mid-life crisis?

Their first home.

How are millenials and tightrope walkers alike?

Compromise their net and they will literally die.

Millenials are Killing the Coat Hanger Industry

more than half of them support legal abortions.

You know times are tough when you see a millenial playing Wheel Of Fortune

And they have to rent an 'A'.

Baby boomers are always talking about the things they miss that millenials are taking away from them.

You know what we'll miss when we're old? Trees.

I don't know why millenials always complain about the job market after college

In the 15 years since I graduates I've held 5 entry level positions with every promotion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there are the baby boomers, generation x, and millenials. What do we call the next generation?

Fucked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just realized the fight between obi wan and Anakin perfectly sums up the past year of fighting between Millenials and Boomers, respectively.

When Jedi business becomes too real.

---------------

Millenials: You have allowed this giant turd to twist your mind, until now, until now you've become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Boomer : Don't lecture me, child, I see through the lies of the libtards I do not fear t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What spaceship got a participation trophy for attempting the Kessel run?

The Millenial Falcon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenage girl...

A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Jenny just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up...

What do you call a spaceship that runs on all natural fuel?

The Millenial falcon

Sending kids back to school at this time will make them over educated but dead inside.

I mean we already have millenials.

2 Millennials get into a counting contest

The announcer says "okay Millennials, start counting from 1 to 2000!"

They both scoff and easily count that high within minutes. One says "I'm a Millennial, I could count to 2000 in my sleep!

The announcer, obviously worried that there will not be a winner, thinks up a plan.

He ...

I have convinced my grandma that the baby boomers are as dependent on technology as us.

When she said " you millenials are so addicted to technology" I quickly glanced at her life support. That was the last time she said it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many millennials does it take to change a light bulb?

Who gives a fuck about millenials anymore, they now suffer like the rest of us in their 30's with crushing debt, child rearing problems, weigh gain, and a terrible government. Welcome to the club ladies and gentlemen, don't forget to turn the light off when you go to bed, that shit is tough to chan...

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

Compilation of short "jokes"

☐ There should be TL;DRs on Terms and Conditions

☐ I never click the top Google result if it's an advert even if it's exactly what I want

☐ The amount of battery left on my phone is proportional to how hard I've been working that day

☐ Smart watches should be able to delete your...

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