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Maltese Jokes

A Maltese and an Italian walk into a bakery ...

The italian steal three buns, and hides them in his pocket. He turns to the Maltese man anf brags, "that took great skill and courage to steal those buns. The owner didn t even see me!"
The maltese, not really impressed, replied, "that s just simple thievery, i ll show you how to do it the honest...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

Just got banned from weight watchers club, after I dropped a bag of chocolate Maltesers on the floor.

It was the best god damn game of hungry hippos I have ever seen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dog puns

i have owned a maltese x shitzu for about 3 years and everything is fine, the first time we had left him alone i was given the task of getting home fast, we had left the front door unlocked as i didnt have a key. i opened the door and rushed to the bathroom as i needed to use the bathroom. i opened ...

My mate has a bit of a stammer, and when I sent him to the shop to buy me some Maltesers

He came back with M&M's!

My local cinema was robbed last night of £754.

The thieves took a bag of maltesers, a pick n mix and a large drink...

What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta?

Maltesers.

How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos?

Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.

So a Movie Theatre was robbed

It was discovered that 5 bags of skittles, 10 snickers and 1 bag of Maltesers were stolen. The Theatre representative made a statement that they have lost over 4,500$ in stock was stolen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/16)

Another day has gone by. And, of course, we now have a new set of jokes. Some of these are weirder but let's begin!

Inside int'l experts believe that Kim Jong Un may have two babies by two different women. In a quick response to the rumor, President Obama has appointed a new consul to North K...

Shopping with Wife

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury's.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following le...

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