A Maltese and an Italian walk into a bakery ...

The italian steal three buns, and hides them in his pocket. He turns to the Maltese man anf brags, "that took great skill and courage to steal those buns. The owner didn t even see me!"
The maltese, not really impressed, replied, "that s just simple thievery, i ll show you how to do it the honest...

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

Just got banned from weight watchers club, after I dropped a bag of chocolate Maltesers on the floor.

It was the best god damn game of hungry hippos I have ever seen.

My mate has a bit of a stammer, and when I sent him to the shop to buy me some Maltesers

He came back with M&M's!

What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta?

Maltesers.

So a Movie Theatre was robbed

It was discovered that 5 bags of skittles, 10 snickers and 1 bag of Maltesers were stolen. The Theatre representative made a statement that they have lost over 4,500$ in stock was stolen.

My local cinema was robbed last night of £754.

The thieves took a bag of maltesers, a pick n mix and a large drink...

How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos?

Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.

Shopping with Wife

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury's.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following le...

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Topical Jokes (5/16)

Another day has gone by. And, of course, we now have a new set of jokes. Some of these are weirder but let's begin!

Inside int'l experts believe that Kim Jong Un may have two babies by two different women. In a quick response to the rumor, President Obama has appointed a new consul to North K...

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