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Magic Tricks Jokes

I do magic tricks for blind people.

And yes, it's as easy as you'd think.

What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador

A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.

In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"
<...

An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and German are watching a street performer do some magic tricks.

The magician notices that the four men have a poor view, so he stands up on a wooden box and calls out to them, "Can you all see me now?"

And they respond:

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Si"

"Ja"

A magician was performing magic tricks on a cruise liner.

A magician was performing magic tricks on a cruise liner. He had some cards in his one hand. With his other hand, he waved his magic wand and then the cards disappeared.

The magician’s parrot then went into the crowd, went up their sleeves, and told the audience that the cards were up his sle...

I told my dad to do a magic trick

So he disappeared forever

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A party of adventurers walks into an inn.

They start ordering rounds of ales one after another, and quickly end up very drunk.

Soon the fighter gets a bit rowdy, spills a guy's drink, and the two get into a drunken brawl. The landlord comes over and separates them, then throws the fighter out of the inn.

Not long after that, t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 guys are on a bus going to prison. Each of them were allowed to bring 1 item from home.

3 guys are on a bus going to prison. Each of them were allowed to bring 1 item from home.

They're discussing what they are bringing with them to prison. The first guy says "well, I bought a deck of cards. I figure I can play solitaire when I'm bored, I can gamble to make money in there, and l...

So a magician on a cruise night has a show every night...

NOTSONINJAEDIT: On a cruise ship***

And every time he performs, an intelligent parrot (deal with it) sits at the back and ruins all his magic tricks by shouting out what the secrets are. When he saws a lady in half, the parrot says that she's crawled up in the other half of the box. When he ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Magicians assistant

My wife works as a magicians assistant and has picked up on some of the magic tricks.

I came home from work early the other day and she was in the bedroom. She said,’ abracadabra! Tara!’ and out of the closet jumps my best mate Dave, stark naked.

Poor bastard must have been wondering w...

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