UPJOKE
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Why did Donald Trump rush to Macy's?

He heard they had Ivanka's clothes half off

One day at Macy's

The department store manager was giving final instructions to the new sales clerk before sending him out onto the floor for the first time.

Said the manager to the clerk, “The most important thing to remember is that we NEVER tell a customer that we don’t have it. Times are tough, and we can’...

Went shopping at Macy's the other day

Salesman was very helpful. He carefully measured my inseam several times

I told him it wasn't necessary but he insisted

I almost just left but bought the toaster anyway

I heard Macy's is selling this new perfume that has that "new Tesla smell"

They're calling it 'Elon Musk'.

Freddie goes to Macy's to buy a bra for his wife

At the counter, the saleswoman asks, "what's your wife's bra size?"
Freddie replies, "6 7/8"
Saleswoman says, "6 7/8? What kind of bra size is that?"
Freddie: I don't know, I measured them with my hat."

A lady selling makeup at Macy's wouldn't stop bothering me.

Boy, eyelashed out.

Why did Michael Jackson go to Macy's?

He heard boys' pants were half off.

A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.

She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.

The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart. Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a p...

A man goes to Macy's to buy a sweater.

He swipes his card but it didn't register.

The cashier asks him to try his card again and the man replies, "I already did and it fits great!"

Frodo collected the keys to Macy's, JCPenney, McDonald's, etc. and put them on a single key ring

It was one ring to rule the mall.

Jewish Bra

A young Jewish man walks into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York. He tells the saleslady,
"I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size 34 B."

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?"

He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a J...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What religion is your bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, ...

Had to quit my job as an underwear model

because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."

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