Marshall Dillon is returning from a 3-day trip hunting for outlaws. He see Chester walking down the middle of the street completely naked.

"Chester! What the hell are you doing walking down the street without your clothes?"

"Well, Mr. Dillon," says Chester, "since you were gone, Miss Kitty asked me to go on a picnic with her. So, we rode out to the woods, and she put a blanket on the ground. Then she took off all her clothes, an...

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A man is being hunted by police on suspicion of bestiality following allegations that he has been engaging in sexual acts at Chester Zoo.

He was last seen ~~getting~~ sliding into a Jaguar.

She went missing !

Husband: My wife is missing. She went mountain biking yesterday and has not come home!

Officer: Age?

Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 25 and 35. We don't do birthdays.

Officer: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

OFFICER : Weig...

My grandpa's favorite joke

Two guys are driving from Kansas to Maine and they drive by a sign for Worcester, MA. They both look at eachother and say, 'how the hell do you pronounce that?" The driver says "War-chester", the passanger says, "Nah, its gotta be "wir-ster". They argue a bit and decide that the only way to know for...

Joe & Chester

Joe and Chester, two old-timers, are playing checkers. Joe says, "You know, Chester, as your next-door neighbor, I need to tell you somethin'. You should put up heavier curtains on your bedroom window."

"What makes you say that, Joe?"

"Well, sometimes at night I'll look over at your ...

A priest told me this joke as a kid.

There were 3 men, they were best friends, and they were quite unhealthy. Their names were, Bert, Chester, and Earl.

They were actually really unhealthy and Bert decided that he needed to take charge of him and his friends' health. He decided that they were going to be on a diet together to he...

Champion Nails is in trouble.....

Stan owns Champion nails the company. Sales are well down. One night he meets an old friend in the local pub. (Its a nice old pub, with a lovely barmaid with a beautiful rack, and hops and things hanging everywhere). Anyway, Stan is telling his old friend - Chester, how things are not going well and...

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argume...

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Two Morticians

One mortician calls the other in to look at newly arrived
body.

"Hey, Joe! You've got to see this.", says Chester.

"You know that good looking blonde they just brought
in.well she has a shrimp stuck up in her pussy"


"This I've got to see." responds Joe.


Af...

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The night before Christmas, a man steps into a pet store to buy his daughter a Christmas present.

An employee spots him walking around and asks if he can help.

"I want to buy my daughter a present for Christmas, but I have no idea what to get her. Do you have any pets that do tricks?"

"Follow me, " the employee says. They walk to one section with several birds, and stop in front of...

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Dr. Feelgood

Doctor Feelgood is visiting the mental institution to see the latest condition of some of his patients. He is led into the first room, opens the door, and meets Charlie. At that moment he is swinging an imaginary golf club in the air.

"Well, Charlie," says Feelgood. "When do you think you wil...

Dad and son camel

Son says "dad can i ask you a question?"
Dad says "course you can son ask away."

Son: "why do we have these big humps on our backs?"

Dad: "well, when where walking across the desert for many many miles, we need a drink of water and are humps store water for us to drink"

Son: ...

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Hunting dog

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go...

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