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Judgemental Jokes

If you want to be judgemental, you have to be a judge

Otherwise you're just mental.

I hate it when I'm out in public and everyone gives me judgemental looks, just because of the screaming toddler in my arms.

Don't be mad at me. This isn't even my child.

So many people these days are too judgemental.

I can tell just by looking at them.

That judgemental friend: If you never smoked you could have had a Ferrari by now.

Me: where's your Ferrari?

Which Egyptian Pharoah was the most judgemental?

King Tut Tut

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't like judgemental people

They are all a bunch of cunts.

My girlfriend admitted she used to be a Christian, so I broke up with her.

It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a judgemental mushroom?

A shit-talkie

I had to go to court today, I didn't like it

Everyone was so judgemental.

So I'm reading a book about a movie star that was born a woman but then comes out as identifying as male, but no one gets upset or judgemental about it, they just accept it and get on with their lives. It's a good book...

It's a real page turner

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently became a therapist and had a new girl come in today

I could tell she thought I was judgemental the minute I looked at her

Three things I cannot stand:

* stupid people
* judgemental people
* double standards
* people who can't count
* lists
* irony

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I showed my date where I live.

I proudly said, "As you can see it's open-plan, with views of everywhere around. Terrific ventilation, heating, and a glorious stereo system if that interests you."

And all the judgemental bitch had to say was: "I don't know anyone else that lives in their car..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun walks into an off-licence (liquor store for you 'muricans)

"I'd like a large bottle of your best Irish whiskey, if you please," she says to the man behind the counter.

"Ah but sister," said the shopkeeper. "I can't be selling such evil liquids to you now, you being a woman of the cloth and all."

The nun looks sternly at the man and says "Don't...

The Seagull and The Octopus

There once was a seagull with sore feet. He had been perching on a seaside railing all day and was starting to get blisters. He had tried going swimming, but the salt water seemed to irritate them and make them worse. He had tried flying, but he soon got so tired that he had to stop. He was in agony...

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