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Jiu Jokes

A Brazilian Jiu Jitsu teacher and black belt told his Purple belt employee,

"We're going to have a match. If you can avoid being submitted for 10 minutes, I'll award you a black belt and I'll give you a raise. If I can get you in a chokehold and you can't escape, I'm going to fire you."

The employee agreed, and they started the match. Five minutes in, the teacher loc...

Why did David Carradine practice KungFu instead of JiuJitsu?

He didn't want someone else choking him out.

I hear that if you draw a really good portrait of Jason Segel you will instantly be proficient in Karate, Taekwondo, and Jiu Jitsu

I think it has something to do with becoming a master Marshall artist

My son walked in on me and my wife "wrestling" on the bed.

We call it "wrestling" because he can't pronounce jiu-jitsu.

A man falls over unable to breathe

The woman he's with scans around the area and spots a man with a gi and black belt on.
"Do you know anything about choking?"
The man responds that he does, due to teaching Jiujitsu.
The woman urgently yells, "help I think he's going to pass out!"
To which the JiuJitsu teacher replies, "T...

What do you call a rabbi who knows karate?

Jiu Jitsu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Judaic dojo that is into black magic?

A Jew Juju jiu jitsu parlor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old cowboy is sitting at a bar next to a young Japanese man

An old cowboy is sitting at a bar next to a young Japanese man.

The cowboy turns to the Japanese man, scowling and grunts "Hey kid, do you know King Fu or Jiu Jitsu or somewhat?

Severely offended the Japanese man says, "Just because I'm 'Oriental' doesn't mean I know Martial Arts."...

An Australian and his two friends, kangaroo and wombat, were arguing who the best fighter were among them.

When suddenly a Crocodile appears in search of trouble. The friends thought this was their chance to prove their respective points.
The wombat was a master of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu and quickly took down the crocodile and have him tap out.
They let the latter rest and forced him to fight the kang...

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