Job interviewer: So, how do you wish to explain this four year gap on your resume?

Interviewee: That is because I went to Yale

Job interviewer: Oh, that is impressive! You are hired!

Interviewee: Thanks! I really needed this Yob

An interview at a subway

“Why do you deserve this job?” The interviewer asks.
“I’m an overachiever, the customer asks for no cheese, I give them extra cheese.” The interviewee responds

Two friends went for a job interview.......

The first friend goes in and the person interviewing him looks at his resume. Then he asks him a few questions and then asks "imagine you are traveling on a train and it is hot inside, what will you do?" The guy replies "I will open the window"

"Great!" says the interviewer and then asks " ...

At a programming job interview, I was surprised to see the interviewing manager was a snake...

Nevertheless, I decided to roll with it, presenting myself as any other interviewee would. However, at the end, I couldn't help but ask:

"So, how did a snake end up working here?"

The snake smirked and replied "Ith really quith thimple. I goth my thart in the IT department and worked m...

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Job Interviewer: In the event of a fire, which steps would you take?

Interviewee: Fucking big ones

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Interviewer: "In your CV, you wrote that you can perform under pressure. Can you give an example?"

Interviewee: "Sure. Mmm num ba de, dum bum ba be, doo buh dum ba beh beh, pressure pushing down on me..."

The interview

Interviewer: It says here that you really fast with numbers, so what's 14×21?.

Interviewee: 63.

Interviewer: That's not even close.

Interviewee: yeah, but it was quick.

“One last question,” said the job interviewer.

“What would you say your biggest weakness is?”

The interviewee thinks for a moment, smiles confidently, and says “I never know when to quit, sir.”

The interviewer chuckles. “Well, I must say, I’m very impressed with your resume and skillset. I’m happy to welcome you aboard!”

...

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Interviewer: so what’s it like being a manure scooper?

Interviewee: Seen some real shit, dude.

Two Indians go for a job interview.

First one enters the room for the interview. After introductions, goes on to ask further questions.

Interviewer: Who was the first president of India?

Interviewee 1: Dr. Rajendra Prasad.

Interviewer: Who was the first female Prime minister of India?

Interviewee 1: Indira ...

The Engineer's Interview

An engineering firm is looking to fill a position, and has interviewed a few dozen applicants. They've winnowed it down to just three candidates, and they're all bright, motivated, and experienced. To make the final decision, the interviewer decides to pose one last question to each of them. He tell...

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Three people are called for an interview...

... Before the day of the interview the employer took the guys out for a fancy dinner to sense the strengths and weaknesses of his future employee.

The day of the interview.

The first guy went in. The employer asked several questions and the guy answered. The employer was impressed wit...

Does your mom count?

Interviewee: Do you have any experience with heavy machinery?
Me: Does your mom count?

The Job Interview

Three men were sitting in the waiting room waiting to be interviewed. The first man was called in.
"Mr. Azarov, this is a job opening doing wetwork for the KGB. We need to test your loyalty and your determination. In the next room is your wife. Kill her."
The interviewer pushes a pistol ac...

A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of manager of a large division...

He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, "What is two plus two?"

The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, "Twenty-two".

The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm v...

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The DOD was putting together a new special forces unit...

In response to rising global tensions the Department of Defense decided a new, elite top secret unit was needed. Recruits were assembled from the special forces units of all branches.

A panel of generals, high level intelligence officers and congressmen is formed to begin interviews. The firs...

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A man is being interviewed for a job

and the interviewer asks him "What would you say is your greatest weakness?"
The interviewee replies "I'm pathologically honest."
The interviewer looks confused. "You're honest? I wouldn't describe that as a weakness. I think that's a great quality to posess."
"I don't give a fuck what yo...

A guy goes into a job interview...

The interviewer tells the interviewee at the end of the interview that if he answers this riddle, he will get the job.

"You have two chickens and a fox you need to get across a river. You can only take one animal in the rowboat at a time. If you leave a chicken alone with the fox the chicken ...

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The Boss With No Ears

A successful businessman owns his own company. While he is quite accomplished, he has a very short temper, especially regarding his physical deformity - he was born with no ears.

He is holding interviews with potential new employees. The first interviewee has pretty good credentials, and his ...

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When interviewer asks to describe yourself

> Interviewer1: Describe yourself

> Interviewee: HIRED

> Interviewer2: [Whispers] Holy shit can she do that?

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