UPJOKE
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In First Place Jokes

In first place, this joke needs a cup to work

In second place, France

I came in first place on the IQ test!

When I got the paper back it said “IQ: 1”.

I was running a marathon. I was in first place and could see the finish line. I tripped and fell and now all I see is...

De feet

Why doesn't Kevin Spacey win first place in marathons?

He isn't an athlete and doesn't train for marathons

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Day 173 without sex

Threw the blue shell in Mario Kart while I was already in first place to remember what it's like to get hit from behind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The British, American and Russian intelligence services have a spy-off

The rules are simple: a rabbit is released into a forest, and whoever finds and brings it back the fastest, wins.

The Brit goes first. He first phones some arborial informants, then dons a disguise: sporting a pair of bunny ears, a fluffy tail sticking out of his ass, skimpy black dress, full...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All the sperm cells are getting ready for that moment when they would race down and be the first to impregnate the egg.

The day finally come, they felt vibration and began racing down the shaft. The cell in first place is so excited he could almost see the end. Then all of a sudden, he turns around, waves at everyone behind him and yells, "Turn around, turn around, it's a blowjob!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A greyhound walks into a bar...

A greyhound walks into a bar and takes a look around. There are three horses sitting at the counter chatting away, he decides to sit close enough to overhear their conversation.

The first horse says, “I have an incredible story for you guys! I was racing last Friday, two minutes in and I am l...

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