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Chemo Jokes

What do you call a fish looking for cancer treatment.

Finding chemo.

In his later years, the Lone Ranger and Tonto were catching up on old times. After awhile the Lone Ranger paused and said “I have some sad news.”

“Tell me, old friend” said the faithful Tonto.

“Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer”

“Bad spirits,” replied his old companion.

The Lone Ranger look off into the distance for a minute. “After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?”


“Chemo, s...

Why do they nail coffins shut?

To stop oncologists from ordering another round of chemo

What's the most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my chemo patient how she was doing as we started our visit. “Oh, I’m so excited for Saturday! I’m going with a bunch of friends to go see Justin Bieber in concert… front row!” Flabbergasted, I replied, “What?! Why would you do that? COVID is at all-time highs…

…and probably 1 in 5 people around you in that place will be transmitting with every breath they take. And all that screaming and singing!”

Cheerfully, she replied, “oh that should be no problem, right? After all, you said I have a weekend immune system!”

Pixar finally made a movie for kids with cancer

It’s called Finding Chemo

I told a girl she would look better with her hair back and she got really offended.

Chemo patients are so sensitive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got a job working with a bunch of Emo kids. It's depressing, they're always going on about dying, they look terrible with their white skin, and complain about how shit their life is.

Sorry not Emo kids......Chemo kids..

Kid: "mommy, why am I getting Christmas presents in August?"

Mother: "because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.."

My bald dad commented on my hair earlier.

He said I had hair like an emo.

He wasn’t too happy when I said he had hair like a chemo.

I told my wife she was painting her eyebrows too high.

In retrospect I probably didn't need to criticize her while she was on chemo.

What cancer treatment do Spanish Inuits get?

Es chemo.

What's the worst hair product?

Chemo.

I got a bald person hair gel for Christmas.

She immediately started crying when she opened it. I guess the chemo makes her emotional.

/r/jokes, I have a belief that EVERYTHING bad or upsetting can be improved with humor. Do you have any chemotherapy jokes for me?

I am a 15yo guy, she is a 17yo girl who has a nonsmokers lung cancer. Any positive or uplifting jokes will be appreciated.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fresh prince of Bel air UK version.

South-east England born and raised

On reality TV spending most of my days

Bein' racist, whoring out and relaxin' all cool

And being disgusting, Fuck the gene pool

When a couple of cells

Who were up to no good

Startin making cancer in my vaginalhood

I ...

"You should get a hairless cat."

Me texting friends: you should get a hairless cat.
Friends: why the hell would I do that?
Me: So you can name it chemo.

What do you say to a thin American?

How’s the chemotherapy going?

Scientist begin testing cancer treamtnents in lions.

It’s going well, until one day a scientist checks in with the feline that had been receiving chemotherapy, and realized that it’s missing. She freaks out, but one of her colleagues says “Don’t panic just yet,” and throws a rib eye into the lion’s cage. Instantly, the lion seems to materialize from n...

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