Hearing Problems Jokes

The owner of the expensive car walks out of his house and says “give me 10.000 dollars or I’ll beat the hell out of you!!” The man replies “Woah woah buddy I don’t have that much, but let me call my son he trains dolphins”. The man calls his son and right as he was about to talk the owner of the exp... read more

He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"

A old man thinks his wife is losing her hearing. He calls the doctor about it and the doctor says he can do a little experiment to determine the severity, "Ask her a question from the next room in a normal tone of voice, and keep asking while coming closer until she can hear you. That way you know... read more

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100 %.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: "Your hea... read more

Two retired elderly men were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ed noticed something funny about Joe's ear.

He said "Joe did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"

"I have? A suppository?"

He pulled it out and stared at it. Then he said: "Ed, I'm glad y... read more

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm going to need to see an ear doctor. I've lost all the hearing in one ear," he tells the bartender. "Are you sure?" the bartender asks. "Yes," the guy replies. "I'm definite."

Deaf..

(Sorry in advance for my English, it's not my first language)


He sees on the counter of the bar a small pianist, about 10 inches tall, playing on a small piano.




- Man: What's up with the pianist?




- Barman: Oh, my genie got me that.



... read more

Woman takes her dog to the vet because it's having hearing problems.

The vet says "Its because it has so much hair in it's ears. Once a month, get some Nair and spread it in it's ears, it'll keep the hair growth down."

Sure enough the woman goes to the pharmacy to get some Nair, and w... read more

An elderly man was having hearing problems and went to see a specialist. The doctor fitted him with some hearing aids that brought his hearing back to full strength.

After a few weeks the man came back to make sure the new equipment was working properly, which it was.
The hearing specialis... read more

An old man thinks his wife is having hearing problems so he went to a doctor to see if there was any way he could know for sure before breaking the news to her.

“Well all you have to do is ask ‘what’s for dinner honey?’ and if she responds, her hearing is just fine” said the doctor

So ... read more

He says, "Doctor, my wife is having some hearing problems. Whenever I speak to her, half the time she doesn't respond to me. But I can't bring her here for checkup, as she is very sensitive about her old age, and might freak out."

Doctor says, "Alright, but I will need to know from how much d... read more

He sees John with a huge rock in the yard. "Where did you get the rock?" Asks Jim. John answers that there is a goldfish in the pond nearby, and if he manages to catch him, it will grant him a wish. The only problem is that the goldfish has hearing problems, so he will need to speak clearly and loud... read more