This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do proctors and proctologists have in common?

They deal with a bunch of assholes and have seen a lot of shit.

A proctor went to the doctor.

Doctor: "Please leave my waiting room."

Proctor: "I don't want to. Why should I?"

Doctor: "You're testing my patients!"

Little Johnny made it to the final round of the spelling bee.

Proctor: Spell there

Johnny: Can you use it in a sentence?

Proctor: They're having trouble finding their tickets to board that train over there.

Johnny: Can you give me the definition?

What do you call someone who watches you take a test while wearing a vest?

Proctor Seuss

A Mexican man is taking his US citizenship test and is at the speaking portion.

The proctor says to him "I want you to use pink, yellow, and green in the same sentence."

The man thinks for a bit and finally says, "The phone go green green, I pink it up and say 'Yellow?'"

What do you call an Egyptian test administrator who heals back pain?

A Cairo-Proctor!

An overseer of exams and a poker player go into business together.

They name their company:

Proctor and Gamble


Apple will be unveiling a larger iPad.

Proctor & Gamble is set to file suit over trademark infringements over Apple's new Max iPad.

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