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Gir Jokes

A young boy deposit 100$ everyday in the bank...

One day the general manager noticed the young boy and asked the clerk about him. He then told him that the young boy comes everyday and deposit exactly $100 each time. So the manager told the clerk to send him the lil boy the next time he comes to the bank. The next day the boy comes in and he's sen...

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Two married ladies go for a girly holiday to the Carribbean

They meet a handsome muscular black man on the first day.

They have a wild week of threesomes and parties, and on the last day the ladies say we never asked you your name.
He replies "my name is snow"
The ladies immediately burst out laughing.
The man looking rather upset asks why t...

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A man is queuing at the five items or less checkout.

A man is queuing at the five items or less checkout. The girl in front of him turns around and looks at his basket. He has a four pack of Heineken and an Indian meal for one. She smiles at him. He looks in her basket and sees a small bottle of wine and a Chinese meal for one. He says to her "You're ...

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Lands on Mars

NASA's robot Curiosity lands on Mars. After thorough searching, it found no porn, no beer, no girly magazines, and no big screen TVs.

This makes it very clear, that men aren't from Mars.

A conversation between a guy and his girlfriend...

Girl: Ah, finally. This is the moment!

Boy: Will you leave me?

Girl: Nah!

Boy: Do you love me?

Girl: Yes, a lot!

Boy: Have you ever cheated on me?

Girl: No, why are you asking this?

Boy: Will you kiss me?

Gir: Everytime i get th...

A woman wearing a dirty basketball jersey walks into a bar. She lifts her arm, showing everyone her hairy armpit. "Would any of you men like to buy me a beer?" she asks.

One man, who has drunk at least fourteen beers already, says, "I'd like to buy the ballerina a beer!"

The bartender says, "Look, sir, I have met many women over the years. Some were more tomboyish than girly, others more girly than tomboyish, but none as tomboyish as this woman. For example, ...

A man sees a dog mauling a small girl...

...and runs over to help. After the girl gets away, a nearby journalist comes to the man and says "That was incredible! Tomorrow, the headlines will read 'Brave New Yorker Saves Girl'", to which the man replies "But I am not a New Yorker." The journalist then says "Then they will read 'Brave America...

Guy: "Truth or Dare?"

Gir: "Truth!"

Guy: "What's your phone number?"

Girl: "Eh.. let's do dare"

Guy: "I dare you to give me your phone number."

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Dave is the man

Four mothers talking about their sons success, when the first one say "My son is so successful that he bought a boat for his friends", other mother reply "That's nothing, my son is so successful that he bought a friend of his a house", "well i don't mean to brag" said the third mother "but my son is...

A piece of string walks into a bar...(my favorite, wholesome joke)

...and orders a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind around here.", so the string hangs his head and leaves. The next day he tries again, getting the same treatment. Now, Mr. String is getting pretty thirsty so tries again the next day. The bartender, getting upset, says to the stri...

A big muscular man walks in a bar...

and says to the bartender, "let me have a beer" in a squeaky girly voice.

The entire bar roars in laughter and embarrassed man leaves.

He returns the next day, orders a beer again in a high pitched voice and everyone starts laughing. He asks the bartender why everyone's laughing.
...

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A man and his frog.

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and pulls a frog out of his pocket. The man sets the frog on the counter and orders a beer for himself. A few minutes later a woman walks up to the bar and sits down beside the man. She orders a mixed drink and a beer. As she is drinking she notices the frog sitt...

A bad Feghoot

There's a big casino nearby a big law firm. On Thursday night the lawyers get together and take a couple dollars each to bet on roulette. They split the money they earn (if any).

Well as they enter the casino on Thursday, everyone waves to them and says, "here comes the firm." Once they're in...

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