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Get In Shape Jokes

My friend told me to get in shape

I mean isn’t round a shape ?

I wanted to get in shape so I thought I'd try a British gym...

I gained 5 kilos and lost 70 pounds

How do hair stylists get in shape?

Curling Iron.

My New Year’s resolution was to get in shape.

I chose round.

To get in shape I had a bike made out of taffy but I never rode it

It was a viscous cycle

To get in shape, I need to pick up a sport as a hobby...

I was thinking about competitive eating.

Six months ago, my wife asked me to get in shape.

Since then, I have been eating everything in sight. Today I am proud to say that I am a circle!

My statistics professor is certain he will get in shape this year.

He's doing confidence intervals.

My wife told me I should go to the gym with her to get in shape, but I suggested I just start with skipping.

So far I've skipped the gym three times this week and I feel great.

A blonde is running around the house with a flashlight and a shoe box.

She puts the flashlight on the floor, sneaks in front of the light, puts the box on the floor, then quickly closes the box.

Husband comes home, only to find his giggly wife doing this over and over again: “Honey, what the heck are you doing?”

“She was right, this is fun! Cindy told me...

I`m not getting any younger so.....

I decided to get in shape by going to the local gym. I said to the trainer "Which machine should I use for best results in attracting women." He said "There`s one outside never fails, it`s called an ATM."

What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian?

Dam... I got to get in shape!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Gym (at 40) - Try and read this without laughing out loud!

Dear Diary

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since playing football 24 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men walk into an Irish bar, one of them pushing a wheelbarrow full of body parts...

When the bartender sees this the bartender exclaims "Jesus Christ, Murphy, what in God's name is that?"

Murphy replies "Don't you recognize me old pal Smitty?"

"Well what the hell happened to him?"

Murphy sighs "Well me and Smitty and Mickey here we're walking down the street ...

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