So the snowman gets frisky with the vampire

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite

A guy and his girlfriend were getting frisky, and he says “I’m pretty good, god-like even” as he starts to go down on her.

“Oh god! Oh god!” she’s screaming and thinks “he really is god-like” as she finishes with an “ooooooh gooooooood!”. He lifts his head, spits in the water glass on the night stand, and proclaims, “Red wine!!”

The wife and I were getting frisky this morning and I asked her to use her hand to make me feel good

...so she counted out the number of hours left until Trump is no longer President.

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My wife got a bit frisky earlier and demanded we have sex in the shower....

At least half of the other swimmers weren’t happy about it.

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A Poodle, a Cocker Spaniel & a Great Dane are sitting in a veterinarian's waiting room.

The Great Dane asks, "What are you fellas here for?" The Poodle says, " The other night my owner had his boss and his wife over for dinner. I'd been feeling frisky all day and the wife's leg was looking good, so I jumpd up and started humping the heck out of it. She freaked out, my owner was furiou...

A man wakes up feeling a bit frisky. Turns to his wife and whispers, “how about a morning quickie?”

His wife says, “I’d love to, but I have an appointment with my gynecologist today and it’d be awkward.”

Her husband thinks about it for a minute and says, “Do you have a dentist appointment?”

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A young couple go for romantic walk along a country lane.

They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak.

He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really
do need to pee."Slightly taken aback by this, he replies, “OK. Why don't you go behind this hedge."

She nods agreem...

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Old couple getting frisky

Husband says to wife 'Martha, tomorrow will be our 60th wedding anniversary and my 82nd birthday. We haven't had sex since last year! I need some loving, sugar.'

Martha responds, with a sigh 'Well okay, but no thumb up the butt this time.'

Don frustratingly replies 'Dammit! it's my thu...

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If whisky makes you frisky and gin makes you sin, what gets you pregnant?

Two high balls and a straight shot.



*This was my grandma's favorite joke to tell us kiddos*

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little frisky. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her: “Honey, would you take me upstairs?”

Horrified, she replies: “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”

“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?” he asks, grinning at her.

“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

“Oh come on! There’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”


“No way. It’s just too ri...

One night a couple was lying in bed. The husband was feeling frisky so he rolled over and tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, but I have a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

Rejected, the husband turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later he rolls over and whispers in her ear "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"

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A scoutmaster and his girlfriend go hiking in the woods...

They take a break in a rocky clearing with odd writing. After a while, they get frisky, and decide to play a little game called hide the sausage. They look around for people even though they’re in the middle of nowhere. It seems all clear and they go for it. Little did they know, they were in the mi...

What does captain Picard say when he's getting frisky with a woman?

The captain's log... is ready for entry

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A teenage girl was getting frisky with her boyfriend...

At her parent's house. Her father, after being woken by the noises, goes upstairs to check it out; and walks in on them.

"Dad!" she exclaimed in a panic "...I'm sorry"

The dad being, a dad, replies "hi sorry, I'm Dad!"

He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you *fucking* s...

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Another blowjob joke.

I was in the pub with my mates and we started talking about sex. They all started taking the piss out of me because I didn’t know what a ‘blowjob’ was. Later that night, me and the wife started getting frisky and I suddenly found the courage to ask her if she knew what a blowjob was, but she just go...

Husband (feeling frisky): How about we change positions tonight?

Wife: OK, you stand here and do the dishes and I'll sit on the couch and fart.

Two robots fall in love

Two robots fall in love they went on dates and they got a bit frisky so the male put on his nuts and bolt and they went at it he put it in and the girl robot said "no input detected"

A frisky couple are speeding down the highway one day...

The girl takes off all of her clothes and throws them into the backseat. Just as things are getting heated, the guy loses control of his car and they roll over into the ditch. Dazed and bruised, the girl crawls out of the shattered window, and limps around to her boyfriend's side of the car.

...

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I guy walks in to a bar. Has a story to tell.

He's sat at his local, looking kind of miserable. The barman says "Hey, how ya doin'? You don't look so good ...". The guy replies "Last night ... Last night was the worst night of my life."

"Oh really?" says the barkeep, "How bad can it be?"

So the guy tells his story:

...

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Old Buddy Hackett Joke:

A very young amorous couple were walking through a cemetary and feeling frisky . So the woman lay down on a grave marker and they made love. A week later the woman's back is still hurting her , so she sees a doctor. The doctor tells her to disrobe, then tells her to turn around to examine her bac...

What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky?

Cornography

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An Air Force Colonel is about to brief his men.

An Air force Colonel is about to start the morning briefing.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the Colonel decides to pose a question to assembled staff.

He explained his wife had been a bit frisky the night before, and that he failed to get his usual amount of ...

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George and Betty get frisky!!

Two old people sitting in the retirement home.
(George and Betty).

They are sitting staring out of the large bay window, looking out on to the beautiful garden.

Betty: Penny for your thoughts George?

George: ach sorry Betty, I was just thinking about my youth and all the thi...

What is a frisky Optimus Prime called?

An autothot.

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A married couple

A married couple was lying in bed one night.

The wife switched off the lights, and curled up under the sheets, ready to go to sleep, just as the husband turned his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he started to read, he periodically reached over to his wife and fondled her pussy. He di...

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A man was feeling frisky, so he went to the local brothel.

When he got there he saw a prostitute that was only $5 he thought what the hell it's only 5 bucks, so he goes in the room, has sex with the prostitute, and heads back home.

The next day he wakes up and realizes he now has crabs. Furious, he goes back to the brothel and finds the prostitute an...

An old woman was sitting next to her fire one day when suddenly a spark jumped out and turned into a fairy.

The fairy told the old woman she could have three wishes.

The old woman thinks for a while and then asks for the following:

1) she wants 10 million dollars

2) she wants to be 18 years old again

3) she wants her faithful tomcat, Tiger, to be turned into a healthy 19 year o...

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Getting frisky and my girlfriend told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt.

So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the head.

A couple is walking through a dark forest...

Soon enough, they feel the need to get frisky and get down to business.

The guys goes down and stays down there for a while, after which he says “I wish I had a flashlight, it is so dark” to which she says “I wish you had a flashlight as well...You’ve been eating grass for the last ten minute...

A man and a woman are just a few days from getting married.

Naturally, the man’s a bit frisky, but the woman wants to wait until their wedding night.

“Come on!” Says the man over and over, but the woman refuses.

So two nights before the wedding, the man says, “Alright, how about I just stick the tip in? It doesn’t really count. Plus you get an ...

A newlywed couple arrived back from honeymoon to move into their tiny new flat.

"Care to go to bed?" the husband asked. "Shh!" said his blushing bride. "These walls are paper thin. The neighbours will know what you mean! Next time, ask me in code - like, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' - instead." So, the following night, the husband asks: "I don't suppose you lef...

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A man was laying with his wife in bed.

A man was laying with his wife in bed. The man asked is his if she wanted to try something frisky and new. The wife said she was up for it. The man asked to put his penis in her ear. She said no, if he did that, she wouldn’t be able to hear again. The man said” really, because I’ve but it in your mo...

Midnight Snack

An old man went downstairs one night to find his wife grabbing a midnight snack from the fridge.

Well one thing led to another and the couple started getting frisky. They closed the door to the fridge which left them in complete darkness.

The old man tells his wife to get on the tabl...

Buckin' Bronco

Late one evening a mother and father were feeling frisky and started to go at it. They didn't hear little Johnny sneak into the room. The father was on top, and little Johnny hopped on his back, and yelled giddy up horsey. Immediately the father froze, absolutely mortified when he realized what was ...

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A teenage girl was at a catholic confession booth...

Verry embarrased, she admitted that she had gotten a bit too frisky with her boyfriend the night before.

Now, the priest was relatively new to this position in the church, and didnt know how to correctly assign penance for her actions, so he told her he needed to pray for a minute to hear wha...

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An elderly woman passes, leaving her life-long husband a lonely widower.

As time goes on, his life begins to unravel as he spirals into a pit of despair. This does not go unnoticed by his adult children, who grasp at any opportunity to cheer him up. Finally, one of them convinces him to grudgingly attend an evening game at the local bingo hall, knowing that he'll be in t...

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After finishing a long day in the office, John rushes towards the elevator. His colleague Matt rushes behind him...

"Hang on, you seem to be in a rush to get home today."
"Yes" replies John, "can't wait to get home and yank my wife's panties off"
"Ooh.... feeling frisky today" Matt says with a wink.
"F*ck that!" Groans John, "I accidentally wore her undies while rushing this morning. Suffered the tight ...

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A man is walking behind his wife and says, "Your butt is starting to look like and old washing machine."

She ignores him and keeps on walking.
Later that night, he is getting frisky and feeling her up. She turns around and tells him,

"Sorry your load is too small for this old washing machine, better do it by hand."

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A deaf couple just got married

The wife signs to her husband "we need a way to communicate in the dark. When you want are in the mood, touch my left breast, if not, touch my right breast."

The man responded by signing back "ok sounds simple. I have something similar. If you are feeling frisky pull my penis one time, if not...

A man goes to the Apple store

To upgrade his iPhone, wondering why all the new products looked the same as the old but had a plus next to them.

He asked an employee who said, "yeah if we add a plus next to the products people think they're better than the really are."

Later that night as the man was getting frisky...

Picked up a homeless girl today

She was just lying on the side of the road, cold and wet. So, being the good samaritan I am, I picked her up and popped her in the back of my car.

I took her home, bathed her, clothed her, and cooked us a lovely hot meal.

Then I took her to bed, and that's where things started to get a...

The owner of a Chinese restaurant stumbled home drunk at 3 am after a bachelor party.

He crawled into bed and, feeling a little frisky, whispered into his wife’s ear, “Hey, honey, how about a little 69?”

His wife rolled over and looked at him. “It’s 3 am,” she replied, “and you want me to make chicken with broccoli?”

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Old couple are getting ready for bed...

An older couple are getting ready for bed and the lady is feeling frisky. She decides a little role play is in order . So she goes to the bathroom and she strips down, ties a towel around her neck and jumps out into the bedroom.

She screams, "super pussy!" The old man looks at her befuddled f...

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A couple had just gone to bed

when they started feeling frisky. After some passionate foreplay, the wife climbed on top and her husband suddenly pushed her off.

“Why did you do that?” She asked. “I’m always on top!”

He said, “My boss told me today that I’d be fired if I fucked up one more time.”

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So there's a farmer in his barn yard with a bull and a cow...

The farmer wants the bull to get his cow pregnant with a calf. The bull however is not interested in that at all and just wants to eat grass all day. The farmer gets the bright idea to try to get the bull feeling frisky himself. He takes his hand and shoves it into the cow's vagina. He then pulls it...

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They're having sex

Little Jhonny and his mama and papa lived in a one bedroom apartment with a balcony. Now with little Johnny being little the parents would send him out into the balcony whenever they wanted to get frisky, to make it seem routine they'd ask him what he saw when he was out. So one Saturday afternoon h...

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Billy has had bad luck with women in general but to top it off, he also has this obscure fetish where he likes to piss in his s/o’s mouth. So he decides to give tinder a go.

Luckily for Billy, he got a few matches.

His matches didn’t initially know about his fetish, he wanted to disclose that information as things got more frisky.

One by one Billy took his matches on a date which eventually led to them going to his bed. Upon reaching his bed, he’d ask th...

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A handsome priest and a young nun are traveling when their car breaks down...

And they are forced to spend the night in a motel - with only one room left.

The priest, being a gentleman, said, "Due to the circumstances, let's just share the room. I'll sleep on the floor, you can have the bed. I'm sure God will understand".

The nun agrees and they turn off the lig...

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Singing blowjob (NSFW)

One of my friends was a sailor in the navy many moons ago. He was out on deployment for long periods of time, and being a ship without women, he was naturally frisky.

They arrived at an island to resupply and the crew were given leave - so he makes his way to the nearest tavern and enquires o...

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Mountain Moonshine

Tom worked at a popular bar in New York City and had to deal with a lot of shitty people on a daily basis. To get away from everyone he decided to take a vacation far out west to find peace and solitude; a place where no one would bother him.

He rented a cabin deep in the wilds of Montana, w...

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Measurements

A man and his wife were outside their house doing yardwork. The husband looked over at his wife bent over her flower bed and said "ya know honey, I never really noticed how big your ass is. Why, I bet it's just as wide as the range on the grill." To prove his point, the man went and grabbed the tape...

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A man and a woman are in the middle of a dark forest... [NSFW]

Feeling a bit frisky, the young couple start to have sex. After about 15 minutes, the man gets up and says

"Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!"

The woman replies with

"Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

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NSFW. I always think it’s cute when my girlfriend and I say the same thing at the same time...

So one day her and I are in bed and we’re both feeling rather frisky. When things are getting hot and heavy she looks at me and says “You should put it in my bum, but go slow because it’s tight”
I ask her if she’s sure, and she reassures me it’s fine, as long as I take it easy.
So I put my t...

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The Magic Dildo (nsfw)

Romeo has gotten a new job out of state and now must leave his girlfriend, Juliet, behind. Their love is strong so they both want to give this long distance thing a try. The night before his departure, Romeo gives Juliet a gift: A magic dildo. “To use it,” He says, “all you have to say is *Magic ...

Guy meets a girl at the bar...

... and they get along really well. They decide to take it back to her place. On the cab ride they get frisky, the elevator ride up they're getting riled up, and by the time they get in the door they strip off in a mad fit of passion and drop to the floor right there, going at it at her request.
...

Costume Party

A man and his wife have been invited to a costume party for Halloween, however on the night of the event the wife says to her husband that she can't go because she feels ill and needs to lie down. The husband asks if she wants him to stay at home, but not wanting to ruin her husbands evening says sh...

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So a husband and wife are driving down the highway

The husband had been secretly having an affair with the secretary from his work. His wife recently found out but he had no idea she knew.

So the wife says to him "I'm feeling a little frisky. I've never given you a BJ while driving before" so she leans over and starts to service him. After a...

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The handicapped parrot

Danny walks into a pet store looking for a bird. After a half hour of fruitless searching, he hears a voice call out to him "Hey mister, I see you've been looking for a bird eh?" Danny turns around and to his surprise, he sees it was a parrot hailing him. Danny says "You can talk?" The parrot says "...

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A man's wife is in a coma.

One day, while visiting her and sitting by her bed, he sees her breasts rising and falling as she breathes. Seeing this gets him a little frisky, so her sees no harm in having a little feel.

So he reaches out, and give her right breast a little squeeze. As he does this, his wife lets out a s...

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A conservative husband and wife are having trouble in the bedroom.

They decide to go to a doctor about it, the wife explains she is too embarrassed to talk about sex. The doctor suggests they use a euphemism to get over her problem. She agrees to try it and settles on "washing machine".

This works wonders until one night her husband comes home from the pub h...

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A joke from my mom. A husband and wife are in bed...

A husband and wife are in bed watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Feeling frisky, the husband turned to his wife and asked, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No." she answered.

He then asked, "Is that your final answer?"

Without looking away from the TV, she replied, "Yes."
...

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So this one time I was on a bus with my girlfriend...

..and she started getting frisky. She offers to give me head and I (of course) oblige her. She immediately drops to the floor and starts going to town, but shortly after she starts - we hit a bump and I blow my load into the back of her throat. At this point, she starts to choke and then proceeds to...

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Voodoo Dick

[NSFW]

A husband whose wife is notorious for cheating on him while he is away on business is at his wits end with the whole thing.

He loves his wife dearly, and explained to her that this cannot continue. He has a long trip coming up soon and knows that she is going to cheat on him if ...

A boy and his Father are walking down the road.

As they pass an alley the boy stops and sees two dogs going at it.

The boy turns to his Father and asks, *Daddy, what are those dogs doing?*

The Father thinks and decides that his son is old enough and tells him the truth.

Son, they are making a puppy

The boy is satis...

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A foreigner accepts an ad for a roomate position...

An ad is put out by a young couple for a roomate position. After a while, a foreigner not from any country nearby accepts. Now, the man has great credit, no criminal record, and perfect English. He's accepted immediately. Only, there's one problem.

In his home country, the foreigner had no co...

What is the name of the TSAs mascot?

Frisky

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So a man and his father...

A man and his father were at the man's house, when his dad notices a bottle on the table. He picks it up and asks, "Hey, whats up with this viagra stuff? Can I give it a try?

The man replies with, "Eh, well, you really shouldn't..."

-C'mon, just a little, I haven't gotten frisky in a w...

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An elderly couple went for a ride.

A an elderly couple went out of town to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. They rented a car and drove out of state.

After six hours of long driving, they both got frisky. The wife groped her man's crotch and started giving him a blowjob. The man was so happy since he only receives blo...

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Not part of the retirement plans.

A man takes early retirement and leaves the big
city for a crofter’s cottage in the Scottish
Highlands. After a month of isolation he hears a
knock on his door. He answers it and sees an
enormous Scottish farmer standing outside. ‘I
hear you’re new around here,’ says the farmer,
‘Y...

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