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Fly In Jokes

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A group of Engineering professors were invited to fly in a plane.

Right after they were comfortably seated, they were informed the plane was built by their students.

All but one got off their seats and headed frantically to the exits in maniacal panic.

The one lone professor that stayed put, calmly in his seat, was asked: “Why did you stay put?”...

Ever wonder why when geese fly in a "V" one side is longer than the other?

Its because one side has more geese.

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A Turk, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are traveling on a train.

The compartment gets warm, so the Frenchman opens the window and a fly buzzes in. Wanting to show off, the Frenchman swiftly draws his sword and with one strike, the fly is split in half. As the others look on in amazement, the Frenchman hands out his business card, which reads: "France's Best Sword...

An Englishman, Frenchman and Turk

Were all in a train cabin. Feeling a little warm, the Frenchman opened the window and a little fly came buzzing in.

Wanting to impress the other two, the Frenchman takes out his sword and in one swoop sliced the fly in half. Feeling proud of himself, closes the window and hands out his busine...

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Fly in the beer

*this was my (very Irish) great uncle’s go-to joke. RIP Uncle Ed*

An Italian, a Russian, and an Irishman walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a beer. Just after the bartender sets down their drinks, three flies buzz through the air and PLINK! PLINK! PLINK! a fly drops into each drink....

What's worse than finding a fly in you soup?

Getting hit by a bus

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Flies in vine glasses

A group of people from different nationalities went to a restaurant and each ordered a glass of wine. When they received their drinks, they found out every glass had a fly in it.

The swede demanded new wine in the same glass.

The brit demanded new wine in a new glass.

The finn...

What plane does the Mexican President fly in?

AirForce Juan

Teacher: Can Bees fly in the rain?

Student: Not without their yellow jackets.

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Worst "joke" I've ever heard.

This is a "joke" told by one of my coworkers Jake. There was me him and 2 other coworkers sitting in the work truck.

Jake: You know how geese always fly in a V?

Me: Yeah

J: Well you know how sometimes the goose in the lead will switch and another goose will fly in the front?
...

There's a fly in my soup !

Man on holiday in Paris goes to a restaurant and orders his dinner. When the soup arrives he finds a fly in the soup.
He calls the waiter over, and mustering his best French says:
Garcon, voici le mouche !
The waiter looks at the soup for a moment and then replies (in his best En...

Waiter waiter there’s a fly in my soup!

Waiter: “Don’t worry Sir, the spider in your salad will get it.”.

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Superman had a huge crush on Wonder Woman...

He was always to scared to tell her, fearing it would ruin their work relationship. One day, he was using his X-ray vision to watch her in her apartment. He saw her put on music and start taking her clothes off. She sat down on her bed. She was getting in the romantic mood. She was squirming around,...

Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!

Well, that's the last time we get the tailor to cook the food.

What does the president do when he finds a fly in his office?

He calls in the SWAT team!

Which birds fly in a F shape?

Geese with dyslexia

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup."

The waiter replies, "So sorry, sir. I'll take care of that," and puts a spider in the soup.

"Hopefully this won't take long."

Went to dinner last night at a restaurant, and there was a fly in my soup.

I wouldn't have normally minded, but the zipper broke my tooth.

What do you call Marty McFly in the oven?

Roast Chicken

Bartender, There's a Fly In My Beer!

A millionaire, a hard hat, and an old drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest.
It's now ...

When geese fly in a v-formation why is one side longer than the other?

Because there are more geese on that side.

(My 90 year old great uncle claims to have made this up, I dont know if he did or not but I love it)

Why did the golfer's shots always fly in a spiral pattern?

He was using a screwdriver.

When birds fly in a 'v' formation, one side is always longer.

After millions of dollars and thousands of hours spent researching this phenomena, scientists believe they now know why. It's because one side has more birds than the other.

An Englishman, A Scotsman, and an Irishman are getting drinks, and they each get a fly in their beer.

The Englishman pushes his drink away, disgusted. The Scotsman takes out the fly and drinks his beer. The Irishman picks up the fly and yells to it, "Alright, spit it out!"

Why did the bee fly in a parabolic arch?

Just bee-cos.

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Superman vs the invisible man

Superman is super horny, in need of a ride he phones super girl and asks if he can come round for some sex.

She turns him down and says she’s busy.

Superman sad and rejected decides to go for a flight and passes super girls apartment.

Super girl is lying in bed legs spread moan...

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Flies in a Bar

3 Guys walk into bar swarming with flies.

The first is a social drinker, drinks pretty rarely and doesn't get drunk.

The second is a regular drinker, however still manages a good life.

The third is an alcoholic...

While the three men are drinking their beers, a swarm of f...

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Three Soviet generals wager who has bravest soldiers

Soviet army organizes a large military exercise. Three high-ranking officers - an army general, a navy admiral and an air force commander watch the war games from an observation bunker, drink vodka and argue who has bravest men. They can not reach a conclusion, so the army general calls his troops a...

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