UPJOKE
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Floorboards Jokes

Men are like floorboards

If you lay them down right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage.

Two Irish men are nailing down floorboards

The first man grabs a nail but it is upside down so he tosses it away. He grabs the next nail but it also upside down so he throws that away too. He continues this process until he finds one the right side down.

The second man comes over and say "What the hell are you doing?" The first man re...

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

6 never did trust 7. Sure, they worked closely together, but 7 always seemed at odds with him. 6 always preferred the company of 4, a perfect 10 of a duo, even though 2 kept them apart.
But when it came to 7? 6 always summed it up to bad luck. Then, 6 found the truth.
6 respected 9, even thoug...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Certain japanse buildings had creaking floorboards which would alarm the guards if there were intruders.

That seems like a sound strategy to me.

When four of Santa's elves got sick...

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Christmas pressure.

Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When went to harness the reindeer, he fou...

Damn girl are you john wayne gacy’s floorboards?

Cause I wanna put some kids inside you

The ground trembles with my every step.

I have installed the floorboards incorrectly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman’s elderly husband dies...

At first the woman was hysterical because she had gotten used to having sex multiple times a week and the man had been very good. She comes up with the idea to preserve her husbands memory and she would cut off his penis and stick it in a hole in her floorboards to continue pleasuring herself even a...

If I said you have a nice body would you...

stash it under the floorboards with the rest of them or bury it in a shallow grave?

QUITTING COFFEE

I'm trying to quit because I found out they're using caffeine as an insecticide now. They're spraying it over the crops in Texas to kill the bugs. I said, 'I'm putting that in my body every day?' Just to prove I'm wrong, the other night in my apartment, I took a cup of coffee, poured it all along th...

The Greatest Pig...

A man was visiting his worldly uncle on his farm, when a pig in a wheeled cart trotted past him, missing its two hind legs. He leaned over to his uncle and asked "Uncle, what happened to that pig in the wheelchair?"

The uncle takes a deep draw of his pipe and points to the pig. "I owe that pi...

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