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Flat Chest Jokes

What do you call an emo with a flat chest?

a cutting board

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The flat chested wife

A wife was looking in the mirror and contemplating on getting breast implants.

She asks her husband, "Honey, my breasts are sooo small. What would you say if I wanted to get breast implants?"

Her husband chuckles and replies, "You should try rubbing toilet paper in-between your breasts...

How are flat chested women like spiders?

If you dislike either one, you're a-rack-no-phobic.

A blonde girl excitedly arrives home from school.

“Mommy Mommy, all the other kids can only count to 4, but I counted all the way to 10! Is it because I'm blonde Mommy?”

“Yes dear, it’s because you’re blonde.”

The girl returns home the following day even more ecstatic.

“Mommy mommy! When we dressed for gym class, all the oth...

A Flat Chested Woman Is Getting Dressed...

When her husband of 20 years looks at her and says "Why do you even worry about wearing a bra?"

His wife quickly responds " I don't know, why do you wear underwear."

Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.

The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."

What does it mean when a man looks deep into your eyes?

it means that you are flat chested.

A blonde girl called Jenny came skipping home after school.

"Mommy mommy! Today in school, everyone else only counted to 5, but I counted to 10!"

The mom replies, "That's great honey!"

Jenny then asks, "Is it because I'm blonde?"

"Yes sweetie" says the mom.

The next day, Jenny comes home skipping and calling out "Mommy mommy! To...

So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me:

What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone?


You skip them both.

Two guys meet up at a high school reunion

They start talking about people from their past.

"Hey, remember that flat chested girl Sam?"

"Oh yea, how she doing?"

"I just saw her like 15 minutes ago and now she's like this" - He holds his hands in front of his chest, fingers curled in.

"Oh, she got breast enlargemen...

Blonde schoolgirl

Jenny, a blonde girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman are getting married

Coming from very conservative families, they had been completely chaste, never having even seen each other naked.

The day before their wedding, the woman comes up to her fiancé and says "Honey, I've got something to tell you. I've been stuffing my bra, I'm actually very flat chested" and the ...

What can you tell, when a man gazes deeply into your eyes at the end of a date

If at the end of the date, the man is gazing deeply into your eyes, it tells you one thing; you are flat chested

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman met in Vegas...

A man and a woman met in Vegas. They caught sight of eachother and immediately fell deeply in love. That same night, the man proposes to her. She looks him in the eyes and says, "Honey, I have a confession. I am extremely flat chested. If that bothers you, let me know and I will leave now."
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Breast Enlargement Technique

(This joke needs bodily movements to get its full effect, so it won't be quite as funny just reading it. It needs to be done live & out loud, so steal at will!)


A woman goes into surgery for breast augmentation, as she had a very flat chest that she was self-conscious about. When sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl comes home from school...

She tells her mother, "Mommy, today we started first grade and the teacher asked us to count to 20 and I counted to 100! Is it because I'm blonde?"

"Yes dear it's because you're blonde" says the mother happily.

The girl comes home the next day and announces, "Mommy, the teacher t...

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