This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW. I walked in on my wife having sex with my best friend.

So I did what any husband would do.

Took a rolled up newspaper and smacked him on the nose saying, "Bad dog! Very Bad dog!"

Little Johnny's neighbour just had a baby.

Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.

When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.

Johnnys dad also told him t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lost my watch on the floor of a party

Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl... Not on my watch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a kid named Billy who always had nose bleeds.

There was a kid named Billy who always had nose bleeds. He could feel it coming 15 seconds before it actually happens. So one day, Billy walks into class and sits at a desk, waiting for the teacher and other students to come to class. A religious kid comes to class and sits next to Billy. Then the t...

What do you call a man with multiple noses?

No one nose.

Bull has Erectile Dysfunction

Farmer tells a veterinarian that his bull won’t mount the cows because of E.D. The vet says that’s easy to fix the vet walks over to a cow sticks his hand in the cow’s privates and takes his wet hand and rubs it over the nose of the bull. The bull immediately gets excited and mounts the cow. The sa...

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Peter Piker

When Peter Piker peeked at Penny,

And peeped her perfect pooper

His peepers paused and then his jaw

Plopped down into a stupor



But he perked up and pressed his luck;

Professed he pined to pipe her

He self-composed and then proposed

While poin...

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub...

... when an irate Irishman stands up: "You're making' out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughta punch you in the nose." "I'm sorry sir, I..." "Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little fella on your knee."

NSFW Husband catches wife...

I came home early from work the other day & caught my wife in bed with my best friend!

So I did what any man would do in a situation like that. I hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper & told him, "Bad dog, very bad dog! Get down! You know you're not allowed on the bed! Very ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The cross-eyed mule

A farmer, extremely proud of his mule, often boasted that it could haul anything no matter the weight. As such, he constantly took the largest jobs and charged a hefty price for it.

One day in town he loaded up his largest job yet in his wagon. He hitched up the mule, gave it a switch, and th...

Rabbit and Frog

One day a Rabbit and a Frog were hopping through the forest, when all of a sudden they bump into each other. They both apologise and exclaim that they are each blind. The Rabbit says that he has always been blind and doesn't actually know what he is. So the Frog said, that he has not always been...

People make fun of my nose sometimes,

But if God gave me my choice of all the noses on earth, I would pick my nose before I picked anyone else’s.

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