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Doing Nothing Jokes

Doing nothing is very hard to do.

you never know when you're finished.

4 million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Americans and our government is doing nothing to stop them, not to mention they're dirty and they smell bad. THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!

Man, I hate babies.

what do you call a piece of wood doing nothing?

board

A crow sits on a telephone pole, doing nothing - looking stupid

A crow is sitting on a telephone pole when his mate, another crow arrives.

Crow#2 asks his friend: "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"

Crow#1: "Nothing really, just sitting here and looking stupid"

Crow#2: "Sounds cool, I wanna try that, too!"

An hour later a 3rd crow arrive...

What’s the hardest thing about doing nothing?

Knowing when you’re done.

My mom told me to stop sitting around and doing nothing

Instead I stood up and did nothing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Earlier today I saw a highways worker doing nothing but gossiping whilst drinking cordial and listening to Glen Campbell.

Just seen him again, and that bitchy tarred roadman is still on the lime!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing.

The owner walks up to the young man and says: "Son, how much do you make every day?"

The guy replies nonchantly, "150 dollars."

The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him 150 dollars, and tells him to get out and never come back.

A few minutes later, the shipping clerk asks th...

I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician!

I was just sitting there doing nothing!

A woman comes home early, and finds her husband in bed with a girl.

She is furious, threatens to kill them both... the husband says:

\- Believe me, darling, this is just a misunderstanding. I was driving home, and saw this young lady trying to catch a ride. So I decided to give her a lift. I ask her where she needs to go, and she tells me she wants to visit s...

My parents have been yelling at me that I'm wasting my life doing nothing but playing video games.

Luckily I have three lives left.

A man decides he will spend a year doing nothing except read all the jokes on r/jokes.

After a year a man comes up to him and asks
"How was it?"
He says, "It was boring, I spent 5 minutes reading all the jokes and the rest of the year reading the reposts."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

6 Life Lessons

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist recommended I take up meditation

She said at least its' better than sitting doing nothing.

Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, ”can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “sure, why not!” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.


A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


**Moral of the...
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