Dirt Road Jokes - 46 Hilarious Dirt Road Jokes

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Two ranchers are driving down a dirt road.

Two ranchers are driving down a dirt road when they come across a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. The first rancher says “Man I haven’t had any pussy in weeks!” He jumps out of the truck and just starts fucking the sheep. The first rancher looks over at the second and says “ Hey, do you want...

A man is driving down an old dirt road

As he is driving he notices there are very few houses nearby, as he is enjoying the scenery he runs his car over into the ditch. As it had recently rained the ditch was slick and muddy and he had found himself stuck. He realizes his predicament so he starts walking. He walks up to a house and see's ...

An Afghan man named Ahmed is walking down a dirt road with his wife ahead of him a few steps.

He meets another man going the opposite way.

"Salam aleikum, brother" he says.

"Aleikum Assalam" replies Ahmed.

"Did you know that the Great Prophet would never allow a woman to walk ahead of him?" asks the man.

Ahmed replies, "And did you know that there were no minefiel...

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One day a boy is walking down an old dirt road...

arms full of duck tape and he comes across an cabin with an old man sitting on the front porch. The old man sees the boy and says, "Say son, what'cha need all that duck tape for?"

"I'm going to catch me some ducks!"

"Boy!! You ain't gunna catch no *DAMN* ducks with no *DAMN* duck tape!...

Blonde lady driving down a dirt road…

When she sees another blonde woman in a row boat out in the middle of a cotton field. She slams on her brakes, fuming, and yells out to the lady in the boat “HEY!! IT’S DUMB BLONE BIMBOS LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD REPUTATION!! AND IF I COULD SWIM, I’D COME KICK YOUR ASS!!”

3 blondes walking down a dirt road when they happen upon a set of tracks.

First blonde says, “I recognize these. They’re deer tracks.

Second says, “no you are wrong. They are moose tracks”

The third one then chimes in, “you both are wrong, they are clearly elk tracks!”

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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A man is driving his car along a dirt road...

when the car suddenly stops for no apparent reason. The man has the hood up and is looking at the engine, when he hears a voice behind him say:
"It's your carburetor. If you clean it, the car will start."
He looks around, but there is not a soul in sightin either direction. Then, he notices a ...

Baby rat and mommy rat were walking down a dirt road when a bat flies by

Baby rat turns to his mom and says:

-Look ma, an angel.

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I took a dirt road to avoid a weigh station last week.

I drove my rig up a hill and around a sharp curve. As I started down a steep hill, I saw an old man and a young girl screwing in the middle of the dirt road.

I came to a screeching halt within inches of the old man's ass. I got out of my rig to see if they were OK, and ask why they didn't mo...

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Why couldn’t the farmer drive around the sick bird lying in the middle of the dirt road?

Because it was an ill eagle pass.

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A man is driving down the highway at 60 mph when a three legged chicken passes right by him.

In shock, he decides to follow the chicken down this dirt road. He sees the chicken run onto this farm and into barn. The man gets out of his car and goes to the front door to speak with the farmer.

“Sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but I was driving down the highway doing atleast 60 mph when I...

A man is driving down a country road

He glances out the window and sees a chicken running along side the car. He does a double take, and notices that not only is the chicken running right along his car, the chicken also has three legs!

Shocked, he looks at his speedometer and sees he's going 35 miles an hour.

He ...

A man and his dog were walking along a road

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to...

The Train

A few months ago, my wife and I were taking a nice walk down an old dirt road during the heat of the summer day. All of a sudden, I stopped and looked around. My wife was a little hesitant as to what I was doing. I slowly moved towards the railroad tracks ahead of us and knelt down, putting my han...

"Life is a highway"

I obviously took a dirt road.

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An old farmer is sitting on his front porch ...

An old farmer is sitting on his front porch early one morning when he sees the neighbor's kid walking up the dirt road. The farmer notices the boy is carrying something. "Hey boy,” the farmer says. “Whatcha got there?"

"This here is some chicken wire. I’m gonna go catch some chickens!”
...

A man driving down a freeway road at 55 MPH.

He looks out the window and sees a chicken running along side his car. He speeds up to 65 and the chicken is keeping pace with him. He notices that the chicken seems to have multiple legs but before he can confirm it the chicken takes a hard left turn down a dirt road. Intrigued he turns around and ...

Retired Rattlesnake Roadside-Romeo

Retired Rattlesnake Roadside-Romeo was on the side of a dirt road in rural Arizona. On the other side of the road was a chicken.
So, he hollers, "Hey there! Babe! I don't usually talk with random chicks, but you ought to know that I am like a hundred years old. Do you want to know the secret to...

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Man in the Woods

A naked old man stumbled out of the woods on the side of a dirt road. I stopped to see if he was alright.

Me: "Hey sir, you doing alright?"

Him: "I'm fine. What's it to ya?"

Me: "Just curious. What brought you all the way out here?"

Him: "Just huntin and fuckin"

...

So this guy is driving down a dirt road...

..and while he's driving he sees this 8 year old boy on the shoulder by himself just crying his eyes out. Naturally, this guy pulls over and asks him what's wrong and why he's all alone. All he can manage to say between sobs is "...my parents.." as he points to the canyon below. The guy looks over t...

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A British man moved abroad to live on a ranch in Australia

He had been over there for a few weeks on his own before he started to feel quite lonely. Peering out of his window he couldn't see a single soul for miles around, just a single dirt road creeping through the rolling landscape.

One day the telephone rang, he answered
"Hello?" he said sheep...

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An Arkansas farm boy decides to try his luck in the city.

He gathers up his few possessions, tells all his friends goodbye and buys a bus ticket to Little Rock.

A few months later, his friends are shocked to see him driving back into their little town in a new, shiny red Mustang convertible. They all rush to catch up to him as he parks in front of h...

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I pulled into a town I couldn’t believe still existed.

A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually said “General Store”, and that was it.

There was an old man sitting in front of the store in a rocking chair. I said to him, “What do you fella do around here for fun?”

He said, “We don’t do nothin’ but hunt n’ fuck.”

I...

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A Single Guy Moves From New York City to the DEEP Country

He is so tired of city life he decides to move to the middle of nowhere and try something new. He buys a plot of land with a small farmhouse and 100 acres.

As he is unpacking his UHaul, he sees an old beat up truck kicking up dust down the dirt road. The truck turns on his lane and a man ge...

Jim had just turned 21, and wanted to buy a horse for himself

Jim strode into a stable, looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said the owner, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to say "heyhey", and the way to get him to go is ...

HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, Atlana. Old-timers are still allowed to call it Alana.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-285 is...

An elderly couple were sitting on their front porch...

When, suddenly, a young man comes flying down the old dirt road on his new motorcycle, as loud as can be. He was yelling with excitement and having the time of his life.

The old man jumps up out of his rocker and runs into the house. He emerges a few seconds later with his rifle and points it...

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An old farmer is known across the state for his giant pumpkins.

An old farmer is known across the state for his giant pumpkins.

Every year he takes the blue ribbon at the state fair for biggest pumpkin, and every year his town throws a Pumpkin Parade for him where he drives the winner down Main Street in the back of his pickup, the local marching band pla...

A Brunette, Red head and a Blonde are on a quick getaway from the police.

The Brunette turns to the other two. "Look!" she says, pointing to an old beat up barn over the hill, "let's go hide in there!". So they pull off down the dirt road and park in front of this barn and run inside. As they walk in, they notice a big stack of large burlap sacks. The Red Head gets the br...

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Welcome to the neighborhood

A fella working on Wall St. decides he has had enough of the rat race. He's made a lot of money, so he buys himself a piece of land way out in the boonies where his nearest neighbors will be miles away.

He's been living out there for a couple weeks, fixing up the old house and generally enjo...

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Boy and a farmer.

One day, as a farmer sat on his porch, a young boy walked down the dirt road carrying a 2 gallon pale. The boy approached the farmer and said, I passed your field the other day and saw some milk weed out there, do you mind if I fill my pale? The farmer chuckled and agreed. After a while, the boy cam...

The Final Exam

The weekend before their big history final, four college buddies decided to go to St. Louis to party with friends. However, after partying all night, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Springfield until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking their history final then, they...

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An old farmer and his wife are riding along...

An old farmer and his wife are riding along a dirt road in a horse drawn carriage. The road is rather weathered and beaten down, making the long journey an unpleasant ride.

The horse stumbles on a hole in the road and violently jerks the carriage. The old man pulls on the reigns and brings t...

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Down the road...

A farmer has a horse for sale. The farmer sees a dust cloud heading down the dirt road towards his farm. A truck pulls up, the door opens and a dwarf jumps out.
“I came to see your howrsey.” Says the dwarf. The farmer walks him to stable where he keep the horse. The dwarf looks at the horse and ...

A good one for parties

So Steve, Greg, and I (put friends names in of course) were walking down a dirt road when we saw a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. We are all thinking the same thing so I go and have my way with it and they turn their backs. After I am done Steve goes and has his way with it, while Greg and ...

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Two men in a car have to go to the bathroom really bad...

and they can't wait any longer, so they pull off onto the side of a dirt road. To keep their manners, they agree to pee on opposite sides of the road.

The passenger gets out and starts peeing on some buttercups. After a moment, a voice in his head booms out, "This is God, and I made those...

In a suburb of Boston, there was a Catholic church across the street from a Jewish synagogue.

Over the years, a friendly rivalry had grown between the two congregations. One weekend, the members of the synagogue gave their long-time rabbi a brand new Cadillac. By sheer coincidence, the parishioners gave their pastor a new Cadillac on the same day.

Everyone laughed at the coincidence...

Irish Wargames

In light of the present threat created by North Korea, the Irish army decided to conduct the largest military exercise ever in it's history. The entirety of its armed forces were split between the north and south of the island. This is the story of the North Irish 5th infantry battalion.
Each sol...

The Fantastic Pig

John is travelling one day and sees a sign on the side of the road saying, "30 miles until the fantastic pig." He is curious but doesn't think anymore of it until he sees another sign 10 miles up the road declaring the fantastic pig only 20 miles away. This continues up until 5 miles away from the s...

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A little Texas joke

A young man in Oklahoma turns 21. Excited, he tells his father, “I want to finally go to Texas.”

His father warns, “Scooter, you’re a full-grown man, now. I can’t stop you from going to Texas. But I have to warn you… **EVERYTHING IS BIG IN TEXAS!** You can’t be prepared for how absolutely hug...

A Chinese and a Nigerian official meet each other at a meeting.

They soon became good friends and exchanged their business cards.

"If you ever come to China, call me and we can hang out!" says the Chinese official.

"Really? Cool! Same to you. If you ever come to Nigeria, call me and we can hang out!" says the Nigerian official.

6 mon...

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The Cityslicker (an old Jerry Clower story retold)

This ole' country boy invited his cityslicker friend out to the countryside to go hunting. When his friend arrives, the country boy tells him, "We'll head out to my uncle James' place. He's got a big spread and won't mind if we do some hunting on it."

So they head out and upon arrival, the c...

A man was on a hike with his best friend.

They’re walking up a hill, talking about what had happened during their childhood. About halfway through the height, the man spots a purple flower out of the corner of his eye. He goes over to it and picks it up. He turns to his friend and says,
“Hey, look! A purple flower!”

His friends ...

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get over here!

"You know, I went fishing up on Warwoman this weekend and saw something I ain't never seen before in my life... I was just driving along mindin' my own business... I guess I was doin' about 40 at the time, and I caught a glimpse of something in the rear view mirror... Next thing I know, I looked up ...

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A man is stranded in a desert...

...for several days with his camel. He is tired and he has almost given up all hope. He is also sexually deprived and wants to fuck someone. He decides to have sex with his camel.

So he mounts and gets into position. But the camel shakes him off and runs away. The tired man runs and catches ...

The Three-Legged Pig

An insurance salesman decides to make one last cold call on his country route and winds up way in the back country at the end of a dirt road. He drives up to the farm, gets out of the car with his briefcase, and walks up to the door. On his way, he glances at the fenced in area attached to the bar...

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