New BMWs don't have a dipstick located in the engine anymore

They're now located in the driver seat

Dad there is something my boyfriend told me, that I didn't understand. He said that "I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."

"Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking from his exhaust pipe."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tennis Elbow

A guy walks into a doctor's office. When the doctor walks in, the guy says, "Doc, I threw my arm out playing tennis. I just need a shot of cortisone."

"No problem," says the doctor, "but first, I need to take a urine sample."

"Why on Earth for?"

"Well," the doctor explains, "We ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to get his physical (long)

So Tom goes to his doctor for his annual physical while sitting in the examining room he notices a large machine with a lot of lights and buttons looking more complicated than the space shuttle cockpit.
The doctor walks in and explains that the this new machine can diagnose every possible ailmen...

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