Dimwit Jokes

As they lay down in their sleeping bags, Sherlock calls out to Watson and says 'The stars are quite visible this evening. What do you think that means?'

Watson replies, 'Well, I think it means that there's a whole universe out there that remains unexplored and filled with mysteries and world... read more

“Hey, hey guys? I have the best ties, the best, long, beautiful, red, nobody has ties like me, but I can’t seem to find my tie, my favourite - and not just my favourite, but many people tell me it is their favourite too, many people, in fact, someone called me up a few days ago crying, actually cry... read more

Son: " I KNEW IT! I want to meet my biological parents now."

Father: "We are your biological parents you dimwit. Now pack your bags, your new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."

... and they hear a cough. They open the casket and sure enough Susan is alive, apparently having been in a coma which she is coming out of.

She recovers in the hospital and lives another 3 years before she finally passes. At her (second) funeral the eulogies finish and the pallbearers begin... read more

Three blondes walk into a forest and they discover some tracks. The first blonde said, "These are bear tracks!" The second blonde said, "these are rabbit tracks!" After the two blondes argued for 5 minutes, the third blonde, who was the smartest, shouted out of frustration, "You dimwits, these are t... read more

A rather dimwitted fellow named bob miraculously lands a job at a donut shop next to his house.

His first day on the job, a customer enters and asks "How much are these donuts?"

Bob replies "I don't know." Fortunately, the manager comes in and begins feeding Bob his lines, telling Bob... read more

Who was put under 72 hour psychiatric observation when it was found that he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammo stored in his home.

My favorite quote from the dimwit tv reporter:"Wow! He has a quarter million machine gun bullets." The headline referred to it as a "massive... read more