Cut Out Jokes - 16 Hilarious Cut Out Jokes

"Son, I don't think you're cut out to be a mime."

"Was it something I said?" Asks the son.

"Yes."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the werewolf who cut out butt meat to try to eat healthier?

It's called a glute-free diet

I wasn’t cut out for skydiving school

So I dropped out

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In Animal Crossing, Isabelle really has her work cut out for her.

Man, managing a bunch of animals? I guess it really is a shit zoo.

I'm just not cut out for the dating world. The last time I was someone’s type...

I was donating blood...

Why wasn't the redneck girl cut out to be a nun?

She thought being a sister would get her some action.

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Me and my girlfriend were on the phone when the call suddenly cut out

I called her back and asked her if she was okay.
She said "Yeah, I'm fine. My call disconnected."

I said "that's a relief, I thought R.Kelly walked in and caught you on the phone."

Now she's pissed

I remember having this little plastic cut out shapes to help with drawing when I was little.

I used to be really obsessive about them actually, I'd spend hours. But there would always be more to draw around.

Then I had this realization, that I'd never be done. I'd run out before I could finish. It was weirdly horrifying and morbid.

But anyway that's the story of my first extra...

My vegetarian girlfriend started a diet where she has cut out gluten, dairy, and preservatives.

It’s not all that bad though, because recently she’s been eating more nuts.

This year for Christmas you are getting jeans with the pockets cut out.

So you can have clothes and something to play with.

Did you hear about the guy who got his tongue cut out by the mafia?

Never mind. It's a tasteless joke.

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An older man was married to a younger woman.

An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life they should cut out sex. He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them ...

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A guy goes into a doctors office and tells his doctor he wants to live forever

The doctor says “sure I can make you live forever, but you have to do exactly as I say”

The guy eagerly agrees.

The doctor says “first you must cut out all sugar in your diet. No exceptions, come back in a month and I will give you the next step.”

The guy goes home, and for the ...

Today marks 4 weeks of isolation. Been running 2.5 miles a day, drinking 2 gallons of water, cut out ALL meat, sugar, dairy and flour. I feel great! Zero alcohol, a healthy vegan diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 30 minute home workout each day.

I have no idea who originally posted this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy & paste!

(NSFW) I heard that Research In Motion, the company that makes BlackBerry phones, is hiring.

So I ran a Google search on RIM Jobs. And you know what? I don't think I'm cut out for this line of work after all.

A girl refused to blow me because I was uncircumcised.

Guess I wasn't cut out for the job.

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