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Custardy Jokes

Did you hear about the baker that got arrested?

He spent a dozen weeks in custardy

Why was the baker so miserable?

He lost the custardy battle.

Did you hear about the guy who refused to stop pretending to be an apple crumble?

He got taken into custardy.

What happens when two pastries divorce?

They have a custardy battle

The best part of getting a divorce is the food fight at the end

I love me a good old custardy battle

What do you call a dispute between ice cream about their kids?

A custardy battle

Where does milk go when it’s bad?

Into custardy

My two friends who are both clowns are going through a divorce - it's the kids I feel sorry for

There stuck in the middle of a custardy battle

A woman divorced her husband after he emptied a bowl of trifle over her head.

She got custardy.

Finger in the Pie

I robbed a pastry shop in Lombardy

and ended up in custardy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened to the profiterole who went to divorce court?

She got full custardy.



I missed my cake day but there's my shit joke.

What did the dessert do after filing for divorce?

She took custardy of the kids.

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

I ate the last piece of flan that my wife and I have been fighting over

I won the custardy battle.

Cake walks into a bar and orders a drink.

After a while he notices everyone's been staring at him since he walked in the door. He asks the barman, "what's everyone's problem?"

The barman says, "If I were you I'd get the hell out if here... Looks to me like everyone wants a piece of you!"

"That's nothing mate", replies the cake...

A cream-filled doughnut and an eclair...

...decided to get a divorce. It's a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They're in for a long, grueling custardy battle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

Two friends are talking in a bar...

Their names are Fred and Michael. They've known each other for a while, 15 years roughly. So they feel pretty comfortable with each other talking about more...sensitive topics. On this occasion, Fred decided to ask Michael about his son as it was something that had been nagging him for a while but h...

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