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Cun Jokes

A Cunning Wife and a Usual Husband

Wife: Listen, shall we go to the Circus ?



Husband : No......... I'm busy..



Wife : It seems there's a Girl riding on a Lion without clothes !



Husband : You have become very stubborn. In everything you want to be stubborn .....

Okay, let's go.
...

Everyone’s heard of Cunningham’s Law - “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”. But have you heard of Cole’s Law?

It’s thinly slice cabbage and mayo.

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Little Johnny is a cunning linguist

Teacher says, "Class, today we are going to learn about multisyllabic words. Can someone give me an example of a multisyllabic word?"

Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!"

The teacher smiles and says, "Alright, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?"

Little ...

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[NSFW] What is the difference between a circus and a stripper club?

One is an array of cunning stunts . . .

Cunning

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer ar...

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Good strippers need either cunning stunts..

Or stunning....

What did the cunning linguist say to the angry german?

Why so sour, Kraut?

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Cunning old bitch

So there was an old lady who entered the First National Bank of Perth one day with a big suit case. She approached the front counter.

"I'd like to speak to the manager please" she asked.

The cashier attempted to help her but she insisted. So the cashier went and got the manager.
...

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Tyrion devises a cunning plan to invade Westeros...

... but Daenerys, Grey Worm, Missandei, Varys, Yara and Theon are all hesitant about his risky scheme -- so Tyrion says "What, am I the only one with balls around here?"

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Anne Frank showed a cunning and resolve that any Jew would have been proud of.

Two years rent free.

The starship Enterprise is about to face annihilation from a superior ship, but Picard comes up with a cunning plan.

"We'll beam Lieutenant Worf on to their ship to offer our unconditional surrender", says Picard

"But Captain", interrupts Riker, "they might not take us seriously if you send Worf. It might be wise to send Commander Troi".

"Nonsense! Put him in a wooly sweater, a wooly hat and gloves,...

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What’s the difference between how daredevils and porn actresses become famous?

Daredevils get famous because of their cunning stunts.

(I thought that one up myself)

My father is really fond of dirty jokes. So, one day I said to him, "Dad, you are such a cunning linguist."

To which he replied, "Son, that was such low hanging fruit it was slapping the back of my thighs."

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Once there lived a horny man (NSFW)

There was once a horny man, who always wanted to suck the Queen's tits. He kept fantasizing, but he knew that he could never do it. He got a friend who was in the King's Palace, so he decided to ask him for help. The Friend agreed to help the horny man to fulfill his dream, but the horny man should ...

What's the difference between a wizard's wand and a policeman's truncheon?

One is used for cunning stunts, the other is used for...

... apprehending criminals.

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Transylvanian bear joke

This guy from the big city takes his son to experience the wilderness in Transylvania. When they get to the lodge, they ask their host, and old and cunning looking Transylvanian hunter about going for a hike in the woods. The old man is not a man of many words, he hands them a little yellow whistle ...

Four people were riding in a compartment on a train in Crimea..

... an old old lady, a beautiful young woman, a Ukrainian man, and a Russian soldier. The train enters a tunnel and it's suddenly pitch dark. Nobody can see a thing. There is a sound of a kiss, a sound of a slap, and when the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is nursing a painful red slap ...

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

What’s the difference between a circus and 5 female line dancers without panties?

I don’t know either, but one sure is a cunning array of stunts.

What’s the difference between a girls track team and a tribe of Pygmies?

A tribe of pygmies are a bunch of cunning little runts.

I took a girl home last night after telling her I was good with my mouth...

We stayed up all night chatting, she eventually stormed off and I'm not sure why, maybe she doesn't think I'm the cunning linguist I claimed after all?

What’s the difference between Cirque de Soleil and the Mustang Ranch?

Cirque de Soleil has a cunning array of stunts, while the Mustang Ranch has a stunning array of .....

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What's the difference between a little person genius and a venereal disease?

One is a cunning runt and the other is a running cunt.

I wasted my life

I fear I've wasted my life. I spent years and years learning Latin, Spanish, Mandarin, and Swahili but it turns out I just misheard my uncle when I though he told me "girls love a cunning linguist".

You may be a master debater...

But I'm a cunning linguist.

King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade.

Before doing so he called to Merlin to devise a cunning chastity belt for Guinevere. The belt contained a miniature guillotine.

Upon his return, he called to his Knights of the Round Table and had them all strip from the waist down.

One by one, he went to each knight and shook his hea...

What’s the difference between Karen in a marathon and an intellectual dwarf?

One is a cunning runt.

What's the difference between a gymnastic team and a playboy model?

The gymnasts do a bunch of cunning stunts.

Why do women date witty writers? NSFW

Because they enjoy cunning linguists.

Why do guys tell jokes when trying to pick up women?

Because ladies love cunning linguists

(NSFW) What's the difference between a clever dwarf and a blue waffle?

Well one's a cunning runt...

The ghosts have begun planning for Halloween this year

Beware, they're quite the cunning strategeists

What do you get when Redditors come up with a brilliant idea?

A punning clan with a cunning plan!

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Nsfw.The hard of hearing genie.

Three people ran into a genie on their way home.
The genie was holding a sign that read he will grant one wish per person, but the he is hard of hearing so wish carefully.
The first wisher, a young man, yelled his wish.
A twelve inch penis.
What he got was a twelve inch pianist.
The s...

Eating your family is wrong, but eating your wife isn't.

This sounds wrong, but I'm no cunning linguist.

A chimpanzee, a gorilla and a baboon are communicating to each other across their zoo enclosures about which is the greatest primate...

"It's obviously me!" says the chimp. "I am most closely related to humans and can use tools!" "No, it's me!" says the gorilla. "I am the biggest of all primates and strongest!" "No, it's me!" says the baboon. "I am smaller than you apes but am the biggest monkey plus fast and cunning!"

But t...

Why should you date a guy who speaks multiple languages?

Because he's a cunning linguist.

A piece of string walks up to the entrance of a night club.

As he approaches the front of the line, the bouncer crosses his path and says to him “sorry mate, are you a piece of string?”

The piece of string says “yes, is that a problem?”

The bouncer replies “yeah, sorry but I can’t let pieces of string in, it’s policy.”

The string walks ...

You hear about the new super hero that is also a politician?

He can communicate in every language..

He is..

The Cunning Linguist

What's the difference between a daredevil and a set of showgirls?

Well, one of them as a set of cunning stunts..





(this wasn't my joke, just thought it was funny)

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Whats the difference between a performance by a female pornstar and an act by an escape artist?

One is a cunning stunt, the other has a stunning cunt.

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A Catholic Irishman is on his deathbed.

He calls for his son, and tells him "My boy, go fetch the Anglican Pastor, I wish to convert before I die". His son is shocked! The father has been one of the most prominent Catholics in the community, he made large donations to the Church every year, attended Mass every day, and was close friends w...

The silver-tongued lover can always make a woman blush...

... because they're a practiced, cunning linguist.

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