Cornflakes Jokes - 23 Hilarious Cornflakes Jokes

Wife makes cornflakes for her husband.

After eating, the husband says to his wife. "Darling I think you forgot to add cornflakes to milk. Please add cornflakes next time."
Wife: "I'll do that, but you have got to stop eating with the mask on"

Neglected Little Cornflake

There's a little cornflake in the cornflake box, sitting on the table. This cornflake, like all others, wants only to be eaten, that's his goal, his purpose.
He knows that today is his day, he hears the man of the house comes down the stairs, coming for his breakfast. The man sits at the table an...

They found a woman dead face down in a bathtub full of cornflakes.

They think it’s the work of a cereal killer.

My nan was doing a jigsaw puzzle of a chicken but she said the pieces weren't right.

I said, "Nan, it's a box of Cornflakes!"

A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle.....

...so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the pieces and tries to put it together. After a while she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend. He asks her what is wrong and she tells him about the trouble she is having with the puzzle. He tells her to look at the picture on the front and tell him ...

A out of control kid doesn't want to eat breakfast, so he throws cornflakes, rice krispies and nesquick out and burns them

Bloody serial killer

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Two guys chatting in a pub......

First guy says, "I committed an embarrassing faux pas this morning. Stopped at the travel agent and the girl had fantastic breasts.I accidentally asked for two Titties to Toronto"

The other guy responds "I know the feeling mate. This morning I meant to ask my wife to pass the cornflakes and a...

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The 4 year old and the 7 year old

There was two brothers. One was 4 and one was 7. One night the older brother said to the younger one "I believe that we are old enough to swear now. In The morning we will both say a swear word to mum. Ill go first then you do it." The little brother agreed to this.

The next morning the mom a...

A blonde calls her boyfriend and asks if he would come over and get her started on a jigsaw puzzle...

"What's it supposed to look like when it's done,"he asks

She replies,"according to the picture on the box,it's a rooster.

So the bf decides to go over and help.

He gets there and she takes him over to the table where all the pieces are spread out.

He looks at the pieces,t...

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Kids swearing too much

*I was just reminded of this joke from my high school years. I haven't seen it here but apologies in advance if it was posted in the past.*

A mother is frustrated with three boys constantly swearing, so she tells them that there will be harsh consequences for cursing starting tomorrow. The ne...

Blonde woman calls her boyfriend....

"Sweetie, I'm doing this jigsaw puzzle and can't figure it out, would you come and help me?" she says.

Boyfriend comes over, and asks "What is the puzzle of?"

"A rooster", she replies miserably, gesturing towards the table, "But I can't even figure out where to start."

Boyfriend...

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kids should never swear

one afternoon these two brothers were talking, one was 5 and the other was 6, the 6 year old said 'tomorrow, we are going to swear in front of mom'

so the next day the mom asked 'what cereal do you boys want?'

'fucking cornflakes' replayed the 6 year old, the mom sent him to his room. ...

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Two brothers

Two brothers around the ages of 14 and 15 are talking about how they feel like they are old enough to swear around the house. So they go downstairs for breakfast and their mom says "Good morning you two. What do you want for breakfast?" The older brother says "Get me some of that cornflake shit." Th...

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Two bothers, one 8 and one 5 are upstairs

Playing and the older says to the younger, today we are going to learn how to swear.

The younger brother is real excited and says ok.

The older brother says, I'm going to say fuck and you are going to say damn.

The younger brother is ecstatic.

They both go downstairs a...

Little Timmy's english lesson...

...was about food today.

"Good morning class" says the teacher, "today's lesson is about food! Let's start by mentioning things we can eat. Come on kids."

Sally raises her arm "bread!"

"Very good, Sally!" Says the teacher.

"Cornflakes!" says Billy.

"Good one, cornf...

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Two men sit next to each other on a plane to Pittsburgh, both have a black eye...

Guy #1: "Funny that we both have a black eye. How did yours happen?"

Guy #2: "Freudian Slip. Walked up to the check-in counter, and there was this lady with those huge boobs. I wanted to ask her if I was at the right counter for the flight to Pittsburgh, but instead of "Pittsburgh" I said "Ti...

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Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home...

Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home.

A local man was murdered in his home over the weekend.

Detectives found him face down in the bathtub.

The tub had been filled with milk and cornflakes, and a banana was sticking out of his ass.

Police suspect a cereal ki...

"Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all the scabs that were on your arms?"

"Shut up and eat your cornflakes."

My blonde friend Charlene phones me up to ask for help with her jigsaw puzzle

I said "Surely, you can manage a simple jigsaw puzzle without needing help?"
She said "No honesty, it's really hard. The pieces are quite similar. I've been working on it night and day for a week and I've got nowhere"
I said "what's the picture of?"
"She said "It's a cartoon chicken."
I ...

A confused blonde asks her boyfriend to help her assemble a puzzle she bought in the supermarket.

She tells her boyfriend that the puzzle formed a chicken, since a picture of a chicken was on the box.

Eager to help, her boyfriend asked her to bring him the puzzle as soon as possible.

The blonde brings the puzzle to her boyfriend's house. When she sees her boyfriend, she shows him t...

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A man with a huge black-eye boards an airplane...

The flight attendant guides him towards his assigned seat, right beside another already seated passenger who also has a huge black-eye (same one). The first man says: "What are the odds? We share a flight to the same destination, we both have the same big ugly shiner on the same eye, and we are seat...

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Two men are on a train...

Two men sit down opposite each other on a train. Looking at each other, they realise they each have a black eye.

"How did you get yours?" the first man asks.

The second man replies "Well, I got the same train yesterday, from the station attendant that has rather large breasts.

"...

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Priest's Donkey

The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo games didn't work, the spaghetti diners and pancake breakfasts din't work. He even tried raffling an old Ford and that didn't help. So the priest though of trying out horse racing. He went to a horse auct...

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