Convos be like...

Me: Hi, my name is Rick and I drink too much.

Them: Sir, this is Triple A, not AA.

Me: I'm just telling you why my car is in the river.

circumcision?

I over head these two guys in a bar one night, in their 30's, discussing the subject of Circumcision.

One guy was dead set on getting it done , since his parents didn't have that done for him.

I couldn't help but to get in that convo.

I said,

"I would recommend against...

Had a convo with my mom who doesn't know much about pop culture.

Mom: HEYY!!

Me: hey

Mom: I need a favor.

Me: WTF

Mom: what do you mean by WTF?

Me: What's The Favor

My friend just had a convo with "Microsoft support"

I was just about to hang up when they called me, but my friend had a brilliant way of handling them.

Totally legit Microsoft support: “Hi. This is John Alex from Microsoft Support. We have detected a virus on your computer. Don't mind the fact that I can't pronounce 'Microsoft' properly," in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My date..

I was at a gas station pumping gas when this cute girl pulled up next to me. She was in a Camaro and asking me questions about my car. Great convo we had, so i asked her on a date . I came to pick her up the night after, she was in a wheel chair! Surprised the hell out of me. So we went for a stroll...

Student and Teacher Convo

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW (language) A blonde woman walks into an elevator...

There is a man already inside so she tries to start a convo with him.

She says to him “TGIF” .

And he responds nonchalantly “SHIT”.

The woman is confused by this and decides to try again by stating “TGIF”.

But the mans response is the same: “SHIT”.

Now she’s getti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman in the park saw a man crying on the bench.

The woman came up to him and the convo went like this.

"What's wrong? Why're you crying?" The woman asked,

"It's my 22-year-old wife, every day when I wake up she makes love to me in bed, then she gives me breakfast. And after this, I go to work. She takes care of the kids and does eve...

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The honeymooners

So me and an old friend decide to go on a fishing trip. When we arrived at the lodge we were informed that the only boat they had was for the honeymoon cabin, we asked if it was available, but no, it had just been rented my a newly wed couple for the weekend.



So we rented a boat from ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I said the wrong word, and rolled with it

Convo with a friend

Me: I was homicidal back then alright but Im alright now, I got full
control of my emotions.

Friend: Hahaha, maybe you ment suicidal.

Me: Did I fuckin stutter? I know what I said.

Friend: .....

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